I remember as a mother of young children sometimes it was difficult to get their attention. “Listen to my words,” I would say. As a mother, I was always talking, teaching, admonishing, and training them with an ongoing dislogue. But for those important moments, I would pause and make sure they were listening. With three girls (and I made 4), it was hard to get a sentence in. In our family we come from a long line of very verbal women. We say we have the Peterson gift of gab. My grandmother and her sisters were all Petersons by birth, and they all could talk circles around anyone else who wanted to speak.
My poor husband didn’t have much of a chance to speak with all these girls. But then, men don’t use as many words as women. Accordinng to studies (and who is counting all these words?), women speak about 20,000 words a day compared to 7000 for men. Getting a man to listen, at least at my house, requires reeling him back in from wherever he mentally goes. “Jerry, I need to tell you something.”
We have been facilitating a study at our church for couples, and this phenomenon of checking out has been the subject some humorous connversations. We decided that men have a nothing box where theygo to tune out.
Me: “What are you thinking about?”
Him: “Nothing.”
How is that possible? I, like most other women, start thinking before my feet ever hit the floor in the morning. But men swear that they can empty their minds and not be thinking about anything. That is why it is necessary to get their attention before speaking to them about something important.
I have said before that my word for 2023 is quiet. As a part of cultivating quiet, I am trying to listen more. Listen intentially. I was reading about listening earlier this week in a book called The Sacred Slow. The author, Alicia Britt Chole, asserts that not listening is a form of idolatry. Over and over in the Bible, God admonished his people to listen to his words. And their were consequences when they refused to listen. He finally sent them into exile, a 70 year time out.
The word listen is translated form the Hebrew word, shama. It appears 1161 times in Scripture. Evidently God thinks listening is important. But this kind of listening is more than just hearing a sound. It requires us to come out of our boxes and pay close attention. To be able to do this, I must say no to some things. We tend to want God to add the discipline of listening to our already crowded minds. But God is calling us to purge some things and to fast from others, in order to hear His voice. Even Jesus had to get away by Himself. Sometimes God has to lead us into the wilderness to get our attention.
So I am working on slowing down and being quieter, disciplines that do not come easily to this Peterson descendant. I would prefer to do these things voluntarily rather than get a heavenly time out.
Lord, give me ears to listen and feet to obey.
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