Category: DEVOTIONAL

FREEZE THE FRAME

Christmas 2022 is in the books.  The presents have all been unwrapped and the decorations put away until next year, although as I type these words I see a Christmas pillow that needs go in the attic.  We were talking with our girls about Christmas when I made the comment that this has been my best Christmas ever.  Our daughter Kristie thoughtfully asked, “Mom, what do you think made it your favorite?”  

It is hard to put into words, this overflowing heart feeling.  I am so grateful that once again we got to have our entire immediate family together on Christmas morning.  The past two years have been rough, with deaths of extended family members, Covid, and two sons-in-law who have battled cancer.  So it was a blessing that we could all be together and healthy.  Thank you, Lord.

The photo that you see is a picture of Jerry and I with all our grands and greats.  I wish our daughters and their husbands could have been in the picture too, but I’m not sure how we could have accommodated 24 of us on the stairs and in one snapshot.  As I look at this picture my heart is full, but at the same time there is a feeling of sadness.  I know it won’t always be this way.  We have a lot of moving parts, and now, even our parts have parts.  Two of our grands are now married and have in-laws.  I can remember having to make the rounds with children at Christmas…three turkey dinners in 24 hours!  We finally got to the point where we wanted to have a less hectic Christmas in our own home.  And so will our grandchildren.  It is a natural, expected part of life.  

The problem with “lasts” is that you often don’t recognize it’s a last until it is gone.  I am remembering Christmases with all my siblings at our grandparent’s house.  When was the last time?  I can’t even remember.  But oh how I wish for five more minutes, like in the Hallmark movies.  But then we would have to part all over again and I don’t think I could bear it.  

Why was this my best Christmas?  This photo that you see?  I want to freeze it and make time stand still, put my arms around all my babies and hold them close.  I think Michael W. Smith says it so much better than I can in his song, “Freeze the Frame.”  I dare you to read the lyrics and watch the video with dry eyes. 

All my favorite people
Gathered in one place
This cold December evening
My eyes go face to face

Drinking in the joy I feel
For all the love we share
There’s no song as sweet as family
Voices in the air

Can we freeze the frame

And stop the hands of time?
Make the moon stand still in the sky?


My only wish this Christmas Eve
Is that we could all remain 

Forever here


Can we freeze the frame?

Hard to make it happen
But everybody’s home
And the ones who once were children
Now have children of their own

Time around the table
And time around the tree
These moments in these rooms tonight
Are everything I dream

Can we freeze the frame
And stop the hands of time?
Make the moon stand still in the sky?


My only wish this Christmas Eve
Is that we could all remain 

Forever here


Can we freeze the frame?

It’s something close to sacred
I’m on the edge of tears
We don’t need the presents
It’s just the presence
Of the people gathered here

Oh, can we freeze the frame
And stop the hands of time?
Make the moon stand still in the sky?


My only wish this Christmas Eve
Is that we could all remain 

Forever here


Can we freeze the frame? (Ooh…)

Forever here
Can we freeze the frame?

Ooo-ooh-ooh…

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Michael Whitaker Smith / Tony Webster Wood

A DISAPPOINTING SEASON

This should be an exciting weekend for Sooner football fans, but it’s not.  The Big 12 Championship is Saturday, but OU is not playing.  Instead of heading to Dallas, the Sooners are barely bowl eligible, and I am wondering what bowl will want us.  But no matter what bowl invitation we receive, we need to gratefully accept so we can get those extra practice days.  Because, oh my gosh, do we ever need extra practice!   Eighth in the Big 12!  Ouch!

Jerry and I have had season tickets since the ‘80s, but this year we decided not to renew, and this might have been a good year to let them go.  We have had so many happy memories in Norman, but the late games got too late for us old people.  Even if we left in the fourth quarter we wouldn’t get home until after midnight, and we have church at 8:30 AM on Sundays.  As it turned out, the Sooners were so bad this year most games were at 11:00.  We weren’t ready for prime time.  I guess we could have held on to our seats after all, but ugh!  We are not used to losing our home games so maybe it was just as well.  

Out of all the disappointments life can throw at us, a bad football season is a mere blip on our timeline.  In the end, it won’t matter.  In fact, it might not even matter next year.  But all of us go through disappointing seasons from time to time that do matter.  Maybe you are going through one now.  A prodigal child, a bad diagnosis, a job you hate or a job you just lost.  Maybe the balance in your checking account stays so low you wonder how you will make it.  And it’s Christmas.  Maybe you are experiencing disappointments in a relationship.  A lost friendship, a broken marriage, or an estrangement in the family.  I don’t know what your disappointing season is, but I understand the pain.

I have lived long enough to know two things about disappointing seasons: (1) they don’t last, and (2) what happens to you in life is not nearly as important as what you tell yourself about it.  If you tell yourself that things are horrible and they will never change, you are going to feel depressed and powerless.  There is another way to look at disappointing seasons.  You may be in a rebuilding year.  That word, rebuilding, carries with it hope and self-efficacy.

I remember listening to a talk James Dobson gave on the radio years ago.  I don’t remember the exact topic, but I remember these words.  “Things tend to go the way they are going.   If things are moving in the wrong direction, do whatever it takes to turn them around.”  What do you need to get rid of, and what do you need to keep?  What can you do differently?  What things can you control, and what do you need to surrender.  If you keep on doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results.  If you have been trying something that isn’t working, doing it harder, more frequently, or louder will not change things.  I am sure the coaching staff at OU is evaluating what needs to be changed and what needs to be done better.  That is what you do during a rebuilding year.

Maybe you need to swallow your pride and reach out to that angry friend or family member.  Perhaps it’s time to look for a new job or to acquire some new job skills.  Maybe it’s time to do what you can to rebuild your health.  

Above all, pray.  Ask for wisdom and direction.  I sometimes hear people say, “At least I can pray.” Friend, praying isn’t the least you can do, it’s the most! 

If you are in a disappointing season I challenge you to make 2023 your rebuilding year.  Champions do what it takes to come back.

IF I HAD A HAMMER

Last night a lively group of women met at the historic Campbell Hotel for a fun-filled evening with the fabulous Amber Welch and her equally fabulous mother, Jere Welch.  It was our October gathering of Tulsa Woven, and if you are not a part of us you really should be.  Amber and her mom own the amazing Amber Marie stores, including their spectacular new Christmas store at Utica Square.  Amber was with us not only to share her story, but also to teach us how to make bows.  If you have ever been in her store you know she makes the most beautiful bows!  Mine are more of the Target stick-on variety, so I was especially excited about this activity. 

Our price for the event included an EZ Bow Maker.  We were told to bring a pair of scissors and ribbon, or we could purchase some of the beautiful ribbon that Amber brought with her.  Here’s the thing about the EZ Bow maker…it comes unassembled.  As I took it out of the box I heard someone say, “Does anyone have a hammer or a mallet?”  Seriously?  Which one of these ladies is going to pull a hammer out of her Mary Poppins bag I wondered, although earlier in the day as I was cleaning out my own handbag, I found a Spode pie server.  How long have I been walking around with that?  But back to the question, does anyone have a hammer or a mallet?  Imagine my surprise when I heard someone say, “I do.  I have a hammer and a mallet in my trunk!  I’m a realtor!”  A first-timer at a Woven event, she saved the day by not only having the necessary hammer, but by quickly assembling 40-some-odd EZ Bow Makers.

As I have thought about last evening over my morning coffee, it occurred to me how just like God it is to provide a solution to a problem we didn’t know we were going to encounter.  The Bible tells us that God Himself personally goes before us.  We have no need to fear whatever may lie ahead.  And we can never be prepared for every eventuality, but God already has it covered.  One of my favorite passages in Scripture, Psalm 139, tells us that God has recorded all our days in His book.  Sometimes we find ourselves going to God with the big, macro events, but he is concerned with everything in our lives.  Even the small things.  And He has gone ahead of us.  All we have to do is trust Him.

The most important way God has gone ahead of me was to provide a Savior before I ever knew I needed one.  The Bible tells us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8).  God provided a way for me to have a relationship with Him because He knew I would not be able to find Him on my own.   

The ladies who planned last night’s event planned and prayed.  We planned the best way we could and we asked God to take care of every detail.  We never imagined that we would need a hammer, but God knew all about it.  All we had to do was pray and trust.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  Prov. 3:5-6 

SITTING VIGIL

It has been eight days since our 100-year old Mimi was rushed to the hospital with seizures.  The ER doctor told us she expected that Mimi would go sometime over the weekend, yet here we are, eight days later, still sitting by her bed and waiting.  The hospice nurse says that death is now imminent, but we thought that before.  This dying process is taking a long time and I am learning quite a bit in the process.  It is a lot like giving birth.  

Her type of death usually takes about four weeks, and looking back, I know when it began.  She began to withdraw from people and activities, and was eating less than her normal bird-sized meals.  Things were beginning to shut down.  There was a scary ambulance ride to the ER.  Then a CT scan revealed a large brain tumor.  We thought we would lose her within hours but she “rallied,” a word I have never associated with dying.

It was during this rally that God drew back the curtain of Heaven and gave her a sneak preview of her eternal home.  And she told us all about it.  Oh the sights she saw!  Even the hospital staff was in awe.  I will be forever grateful for that time with her.  Since then she has been mostly sleeping. 

She has been at Clarehouse since Monday, and what a blessing it is that they had a bed available.  She has a beautiful suite, but the smell of death hangs heavy.  It clings to my hair and my skin, and I wonder how long it will last.  So I moved to the deck outside her room that overlooks a creek and a copse of trees.  Occasionally a butterfly from the butterfly garden flutters by.  An owl sits in a hollow tree behind me, his nocturnal eyes closed to the bright daylight.  A light breeze blows.  In the distance I can here the sounds of cars; life goes on around us, oblivious to the eight or so people here who are transitioning from this world to the next.

I have been praying for months that God would take her peacefully in her sleep.  I guess I should have been more specific.  My idea was that she would go about her day, go to bed, fall asleep, and wake up in Heaven.  I wasn’t planning on eight days and nights of sleep!  But God is in charge and I am not.  Scripture tells us that all our days were ordained by God before we were ever conceived. He knew the day we would come into the world and He knows the day we will leave.  

People tell me that they understand that sitting vigil is hard.  Well yes and no.  There have been some hard moments, some sad moments and some long moments.  We leave for bits of time, but feel like we should come back. And when we are here we feel useless. it’s a good deal of waiting. But mostly, it is my honor to sit here with her.  She has lived a good long life.  Everyone has said their goodbyes and said what they needed to say. I am so grateful I get to spend these last hours with her. 

THE MESSY MIDDLE

It has been awhile since I have written anything.  It’s not that I haven’t had ideas that have come to me.  It is because my writing time has been absorbed by a hobby.  It all started a few years ago when I was introduced to Bible Quilt Journaling, created by my friend Dianna.  Briefly, this is a method of journaling and meditating on scripture in an “artistic’ manner.  I put quotes around artistic because believe me, I am no artist.  In the beginning my pages could have been done better by a first grader.  But over time I got better at it.  

Bible Quilting has nothing to do with sewing for those of you who may be allergic to sewing machines, but it does require some supplies.  Since I have never been a crafter, I didn’t even have a decent set of colored pencils, so I started acquiring a few things.  Those who know me well are laughing at “few things”, because this pursuit has taken on a life of its own, and I have acquired a lot of things I never knew I needed.  Along the way I discovered beautiful papers and fell down a rabbit hole!  I wanted to learn different ways to journal and find ways to use up all this paper I was ordering.  

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I started making all different kinds of journals…jot journals, gratitude journals, pretty daily journals for every season…and then, I discovered junk journals.  That was when the little space I was using in a spare bedroom became too small.  I got rid of all the bedroom pieces and created a craft room.  All that paper and those supplies take up a LOT of space!  

When people ask me to describe junk journaling I usually direct them to a video on YouTube, but junk journalers are all over social media platforms.  It is hard to describe, but basically it involves using bits of this and that, things you would normally discard, and using them to create journals.  I started to think twice before throwing things away.  Suddenly the most exciting thing about an Amazon delivery was the packing paper. (Unless the box contained craft paper or washi tape).  I found a group of talented junk journalers that I follow regularly.  They are mostly in the UK and I love listening to them talk as I work on my journals.  Several of the artists have formed a consortium and they create challenges for their followers.   Currently I am about to complete Junk Journal July, and my journal is getting nice and chunky.  There is a journaling prompt for every day of July, and I am almost at the end.

I could go on and on about journaling, but that is not the purpose of this post.  This morning I was working on the prompt, “stencils.”  The medium you see in the picture is a yummy concoction called stencil butter.  I had to pause to let it dry and I was thinking about what else I want to add to the page.  Right now I am in the messy middle.  I really don’t know what the finished page will look like.  My pages seem to gradually come to be on their own.  I have learned to trust the process.

It hit me that most of us live in the messy middle.  We move from one situation to another, and on a larger scale, one season of life to another.  We may have entered adulthood with a plan for our lives, firm thoughts about how things should go.  And God laughed.  Things rarely go the way we think they should.  In fact, I spend a good deal of time with my therapy clients helping them to let go of the “shoulds.”  It’s not that our plans and ideas are wrong.  It is just that life has a way of moving us from one messy middle to another.  It is sometimes hard to see how things will turn out.  And it is in the messy middle that we develop our trust muscles.  We may not know how our current page is going to turn out, but God does.  We just trust Him and trust the process.  

It is fine to make a life plan, to have goals and dreams.  But God has dreams for us too.  We become much less frustrated when we discover God’s plans for us and get on board with them.  We find true fulfillment when God’s desires become our desires.  It is then that we are in sync with our Creator, the Artist of our lives.

You know what I really love about junk journaling?  It is the taking of something of no value, something discardable, and turning it into something lovely.  That is exactly what God does.  He takes the mess of our lives and repurposes it into something beautiful.  

 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Prov. 19:21

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jer. 29:11

FINAL INSTRUCTIONS

We had an interesting assignment in our small group at church.  In preparation for Easter, we have been studying the chapters in the book of John that lead up to the crucifixion and resurrection, the final days of Jesus here on earth.  In these chapters, Jesus is telling his disciples the important things He wants them to remember after He is gone.  Our teacher challenged us with this thought: If you knew you had only one week to live, what would be five things you would want to say to your loved ones?  That question intrigued me.  

I remember the feeling I had when we dropped each of our three daughters off at college.  Had I done enough?  Did I teach them everything they would need to know?  Those eighteen years that seemed to last so long now seemed to be much too brief.  As someone has said, the days are long but the years are short.  And if I knew I was going to die next week, I am sure I would have those same feelings again.  The years went by so quickly, where did the time go?  Did I do all I needed to do as a mother and a grandmother?  So here are my five things.  Only five?  I might need more.

For my family,

Here are the most important things I want you to know, the things I want you to remember after I am gone:

  1. I love you so much, but I could never love you as much as Jesus loves you.  My favorite job on earth was being a wife, a mom and a JuJu, and I loved every minute of time I got to spend with you, every phone call, and text.  I will not always be here with you.  I know you understand that intellectually, but you won’t really KNOW it until after I am gone.  You will miss me, but you will always carry a bit of me in your hearts.  Just know that I will be waiting for you in Heaven.  I am so grateful that each of you has trusted the Lord for your salvation and that we will spend eternity together.  Until then, it is my desire that you love each other and keep the family close.  Family is important.
  2.  This life is not about your happiness, although I hope you are happy.  It is about your holiness, and I wish that for you above all else.  You will have good times and bad, mountains and valleys.  All of your trials have been custom designed for you by God to make you more like Jesus.  Like a sculptor who is creating a beautiful work of art, God is constantly chipping away at all of those pieces that need to go, everything that doesn’t look like Christ.
  3. While there is much in this world to enjoy, it is not your home.  Remember that you carry a heavenly passport and one day you will get to live there permanently.  In the meantime, you are on mission, an ambassador for Christ.  You will face scorn, ridicule, and maybe even persecution for your beliefs.  The world will call you ignorant, narrow-minded, and rigid.  They will tell you that the Bible is outdated and no longer relevant.  Don’t believe them.  Remember who you are and whose you are.  Try to memorize as much scripture as possible because a day may come when you no longer have access to the Bible.  And remember, you may be the only Bible some people ever see. 
  4. Find a Bible teaching church and join it.  Get into a small group and become a part of a faith community.  Find your ministry.  Get into a Bible study and look for good para-church organizations to join.  
  5. To those of you who are still unmarried, make sure you marry a Believer, someone with a biblical worldview.  Craft a mission statement for your marriage and spend your time doing things that have eternal value.  Decide early that you will go to church on Sundays, and you will never again have that Sunday morning debate.  Are we going to church today?  It will just become what you do.  Learn to tithe early.  Pray and read the Bible together.  Cultivate friendships with other Christians.  Do good in the world and be kind to others.

Whew!  That’s a lot, but certainly not exhaustive.  I could have included things like keep your little part of the world tidy, be a good citizen and vote, plant trees, and back up your hard drive.  But then, you already know those things.  Above all, go back to number one.  I love you so much!

For others of you who may happen to read this, I would love your comments.  What did I leave out?  I look forward to reading your answers.                  

WHAT SHOULD I PACK?

If you have ever traveled with me you know that I am not a light packer.  I like to be prepared for every possible occasion, so this might mean five pairs of shoes, multiple outfits per day and lots of makeup and hair products.  Making decisions about what to pack overwhelms me, so I end up packing way more than I need.  Or use.  I have just never mastered the travel system of three black pieces and a few accessories.  One time I got to Rome and discovered that my luggage was lost.  No change of clothes for three days!  I’m not going to let that happen again, so I bought a new carry-on that can hold enough for a couple of days.

I’ve always called myself a “more is more” kind of girl.  I like stuff and I have a lot of it.  Now I am trying to let go of some of my things and it’s a struggle.  A few years ago, when I was enthralled with Downton Abbey, I began collecting china teacups.  I was excited to find some of the patterns that I saw on the show, but now I wish I never started.  Those pretty teacups are taking up valuable real estate in my china cabinet.  And I never use them.

By now you may be wondering where I am going with all of this.  I don’t know about you, but I have found it hard to tear myself away from the drama in Ukraine that is playing out before our eyes.  I almost feel guilty for going about my daily routine when there is so much suffering on the other side of the world.  I watch the people, cold and hungry, sometimes walking for miles, while carrying babies and dragging a suitcase.  One suitcase!  What do they put in that one single suitcase?

I ask myself what I would pack in that situation.  What things would be the most essential?  I would probably pack a change of clothes, something sensible and warm.  I would not be concerned about having just the right outfit; warm and dry would do.  What else?  I would probably include essential paperwork and documentation and cash, if I had any.  Medications would be more important than mascara.  Since my electronic gadgets have become so important to me I would pack a cell phone charger and pray for cell service and Internet.  I would really like to take my laptop, but that might need to be left behind.  And a Bible.  I saw one man on television whose home was destroyed and he was crying over his lost Bible.  I get it.  I would hate to go through a war without a Bible.   

A war (even watching one from afar) causes one to re-examine one’s priorities.  What are the things that matter?  These people in Ukraine are going to lose every earthly possession.  It looks like there will be nothing left even if they are able to return.  They will lose their houses and all the contents, things they may have spent a lifetime acquiring.  Their cars have been blown up as well a their businesses and schools.  And those things are not trivial.  I think about family photos and mementos and little trinkets that children have made.  Some people must leave their pets.  And many are leaving behind precious loved ones, men of fighting age and those who are too old or ill to make the treacherous journey. 

So what are my essential things?  My family and friends, my two dogs, and some form of Bible.  My thing that is most precious to me is the one thing that can never be taken away, even if I lose my life: my relationship with Jesus.  That is the most practical thing I can ever pack.  It never gets old, worn out, or depleted.  It doesn’t take up any space, it is suitable for every eventuality, and it can never be lost or stolen.  And if I don’t have a Bible?  I would hate that, but I have spent years hiding God’s word in my heart.  As I watched that man who was grieving over his lost Bible, my thought was, “Now it is your turn to be a living Bible to those around you.”  

May America never experience what we are watching on television.  And may God bless all those impacted by this terrible war. 

“ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39.

PLAYING FROM VICTORY

In my previous blog I wrote about Cooper Kupp, the LA Rams wider receiver who went from being a zero-star college recruit to Super Bowl 56 MVP.   But there is more to the story of this remarkable man.  In 2019 the Rams lost Super Bowl 53 to the New England Patriots.  The score was an embarrassing 13-3.  Kupp had to watch helplessly from the sidelines due to a torn ACL, but he was just as devastated as his teammates as they walked off the field in defeat.  But then something happened 

Kupp says as he was walking off the field toward the tunnel something caused him to turn around.  In that moment God gave him a vision: the Rams would come back somehow and win a Super Bowl, and Kupp would walk off the field as the MVP.  He kept this vision mostly to himself, revealing it only with his wife, because obviously this was not the type of thing you could go around sharing.  People would think you were nuts!  Or a braggart.  But when he talks about it today he gets choked up, giving all the glory to God.  He says he saw it as clear as day.  And when this postseason began, Kupp says he began to play differently.  He believed.  “It was written already and I just got to play free, knowing that I got to play from victory, not for victory.”  

 I got to play from victory.  I have been thinking about that statement for days.  What would it be like if we lived our lives from victory and why don’t we?  Because if we are Christians, if we really believe what God has revealed to us in His word, then we know that Jesus has already won, and we get to share in His victory.  What if we didn’t worry about all the millions of things we humans worry about, and just did our best, knowing that we are assured of victory?    

Now just because God gave Kupp a vision of winning didn’t mean it was going to be a piece of cake. There would be setbacks, busted plays, tackles, sacks, and plays that didn’t work.  The opponents would score some points.  And there would be some hard hits with bruised and sore bodies the next day.  And that is just like life.  Even if you are a Christian, even if you believe and trust God and His word, you are going to take some hits.  You may lose ground, get bad calls, and have to endure trash talk.  We are not immune to the sufferings of this life, and we will all experience difficulties and loss.  But playing from victory means we are able to live with the end in view no matter what hardships life gives us.  

It may look hopeless sometimes; the Rams were behind with only six minutes left to play.  I recently had a birthday, and all my birthdays are now big ones now.  My friend Kay likes to remind me that we are in our fourth quarter.  But if there is anything this football season has taught me, it is how much can be accomplished with only a few seconds left on the clock.  Heck, I might even go into overtime.  As Believers we do not have to be anxious or depressed about our current circumstances because we can see that scoreboard and know that ultimately we will win.  And Cooper Kupp would be the first to acknowledge who the real MVP is.  Jesus Christ left it all on the field for us.

Christ suffered for our sins once for all time.  He never sinned, but died for sinners to bring you safely home to God.  1 Peter 3:18 NLT

YOU ARE NOT A ZERO

An article about Cooper Kupp caught my attention.  In case you didn’t watch the Super Bowl, Kupp is the wide receiver for the Los Angeles Rams who was awarded MVP after the game.  Now I’m not a big NFL fan, but I am a huge college football fan, so what really impressed me was learning that Kupp was a 0 star recruit coming out of high school.  Zero!  We college fans love our big-time recruits.  We want those four and five stars.  But for Kupp, it looked like his football days would end after high school, in spite of the fact that both his father and grandfather played in the NFL.  He didn’t have a single college offer until three weeks after his senior season, when finally, he received offers from Eastern Washington and Idaho State.  Not exactly blue blood programs.  

So how did someone with slim-to-no prospects become a Super Bowl MVP?  I don’t think he believed the lie that he was a zero.   He knew he was more than what the recruiters said he was.  His self-worth didn’t come from Rivals or ESPN.  He knew he could play football in spite of what others said.  His head coach at Eastern Washington was impressed from the start.  Kupp was the hardest worker on the field and he proved that he was worth so much more than 0 stars.   He won all kinds of awards in college including consensus All American and the coveted Walter Payton award.  After college he  was drafted by the Rams who were excited to land him.  Rams coach Sean McVay said he was one of the most pro-ready receivers he had ever evaluated.  Kupp has won numerous awards as a pro and has set all kinds of records.  Not bad for a kid nobody wanted.  

There is a message in Kupp’s story for all of us.  We need to stop believing the lies and start believing the truth about our value.  We are worth so much more than our bank account, what kind of car we drive, or where we live.  The numbers on the bathroom scales or what we shoot on the golf course are only numbers, metrics.  They are not a measure of our value as humans.  We are worth so much more than the number of “likes” on our social media page or how many followers we have. We are not the failures we have had in the past or even the successes we will have in the future.  

We need to cut out the negative self-talk.  Some of us need to stop listening to the voice of a punitive parent (or spouse, coach, or boss, or ex-spouse) in our head.  We are not the grade on our math exam, our GPA, or what the mean girls in the fifth grade said about us.  We are grown-ups now, and we can know the truth about our value.

Here is the truth: we are worth what God says we are worth.  And God doesn’t have any zeroes.  Go to the Bible and read God’s love letter to you.  He tells us how much He loves and cares for us, that He is always with us, watching over and protecting us.  The same God who feeds the sparrows and clothes the lilies, cares for and provides for us.  Because he loves us!   He takes great delight in us and rejoices over us with singing (Zeph. 3:17).  I often suggest to my clients that they meditate on Psalm 139, especially verses 13-16.  And if you only needed one truth about your worth, here it is: God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for your sins so that you could be in relationship with Him.  He wants to have dinner with you!  (Rev. 3:20). 

Cooper Kupp knows these truths.  Even with all the awards and accolades, Kupp says his greatest joy comes from knowing Christ and living out his God-given purpose in life.  He knows he is not a zero.                            

GOOD GRIEF

Types of tears

This is a repost from 2017, but I think it is timely this holiday weekend when so many are dealing with grief and the empty chair. Sending you all blessings and wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.

Have you ever wondered why we were created with the ability to cry?  I am privileged to sit alongside my clients as they shed many tears.  People are usually embarrassed and tell me they are sorry for crying, but I tell them they never have to apologize for shedding tears.  In my own life, I have gone through a seasons of tears.  There were days when I wondered how I could produce so much water!  Finally I decided to do a little research on crying and what the Bible has to say about it.

According to scientists, there are three types of tears and they all differ in their function and chemical makeup.  All tears are salt water and they drain through our nasal cavity, which is why so many of us have to blow our noses after a good cry.  Basal tears are the tears that we have in our eyes all the time.  They keep our eyes from drying out.  We produce about 5 – 10 ounces of basal tears every day.  Basal tears are about 98% water. 

Reflexive tears are those that protect the eye from irritants, such as smoke, onions, or dust.  The sensory nerves in your cornea send a message to your brainstem that in turn sends hormones to the glands in the eyes that produce tears.  These tears contain a bio-chemical called lysozyme, an antibacterial protection for the eyes.  

The third type is emotional tears.  Most scientists believe that only humans are capable of producing this type of tear. God created us with this unique ability among all His creatures.  I think it is interesting that Jesus (God in human form) also wept (John 11:35; Luke 19:41).  These emotional tears are the ones I am most curious about, and it turns out that they have special health benefits.  Dr. William Frey, a biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, has done extensive research on tears.  He discovered that emotional tears contain stress hormones that are excreted from the body through crying.  Dr. Frey’s research suggests that when we are under stress, even good stress, our bodies produce stress hormones which are necessary for a fight-or-flight response.  However, over prolonged periods of time, these hormones can be dangerous to our health.  Dr. Frey proposes that tears are the body’s mechanism for releasing these built up toxins.  Crying is beneficial to your health, and research shows that stifling emotional tears can elevate the risk of heart disease and hypertension.  Psychologists believe that those who are experiencing grief do better through talking and crying, rather than holding it all in.  Sometimes having a good cry is the healthiest thing you can do.

The Bible has a great deal to say about crying.  In fact, there are almost 700 references to crying and tears in Scripture.  One thing stands out loud and clear: God sees our tears.  David says in Psalm 56:8: “You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.”  Tear bottles were used in ancient (and in some more modern) times during mourning.  They were used to collect the tears of the bereaved and often buried along with the deceased as a sign of respect.  

God collects our tears.  He knows when we are grieving, hurt, sad, frustrated, and angry.  He even knows when we cry tears of joy.  He sees every tear that falls.  And He records all these tears in His book of remembrance (Malachi 3:16).  God keeps a database of all our sorrows.  And He promises to wipe away all our tears when we get to Heaven (Revelation 21:4), where death, sorrow, crying, and pain will be gone forever.  

We take comfort in these things.  We are so fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that even our tears have a purpose here on earth.  But when we get to Heaven there will be no need for tears.  God Himself will tenderly wipe them away.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  Revelation 21:4 (NIV).

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