Tag: writing

Best Laid Plans

I was supposed to be in Dallas today. I was supposed to meet my sister from Houston, and we were going to celebrate my 80th birthday. We had planned to do something of a sentimental journey in our hometown, driving past the many different houses we lived in and the many schools we attended. The icing on the birthday cake was lunch at the downtown Neiman Marcus in the Zodiac room. It was almost shut down last year, and I wanted to see it one last time before it closes permanently. These things were on my agenda for today, but you know…best laid plans.

One of the reasons why this was going to be so nostalgic, is that my sister and I spent many, many hours in downtown Dallas. My siblings and I can now laugh at our misadventures, but we all marvel that we managed to grow into adults. God was watching out for us. Even at an early age, my parents would put my sister and I on a bus heading into downtown and tell us to be back by dinner time. As we moved into our teen years these downtown forays turned into shopping trips. Mostly just looking because we never had much money. Looking and a good bit of dreaming. 

Those were days before shopping malls, so most of the department stores were concentrated downtown. And there were so many nice stores. Our favorite place was Titche’s. If we didn’t have much money we would eat a chili dog in the bargain basement. But if we were flush, we ate Turkey Mornay upstairs in the tearoom and oohed and gushed over the models that would stroll through the dining area. 

If we really had extra money, we would eat at the Zodiac Room. A special restaurant in a special store. I can still remember Helen Corbett’s famous poppyseed dressing.  At that time there was only one Neiman Marcus, and what a fabulous store it was! Celebrities and socialites would fly in from all over the world to shop there. Just walking in the front door was an experience because you were immediately hit with wonderful sights and smells.   I never shopped in the designer area on the second floor, but I can still remember exactly where the junior department was.  Again, just looking.

Sidebar: When I was in high school, I was in Junior Achievement (Is that still a thing?). Our sponsor was Neiman Marcus That sounded wonderful to me. I didn’t realize that my good friend Vivian and I would be riveting sheet metal into containers for milk cartons. Nothing very posh about that. What I remember most is our supervisor, a young buyer from Neiman’s who was just starting his career. His name was Roger Horchow. He went on to do quite well for himself with The Horchow Collection.

Soon after those days, shopping malls came to the suburbs and the landscape of downtown Dallas, like all downtowns, changed. I miss those days, especially driving downtown to see the Christmas lights and the beautifully decorated department store windows. Filling my Amazon cart doesn’t quite have the same panache as shopping downtown. 

Even though we had to cancel our trip, I was only mildly disappointed. We might reschedule. Or not. While I had this trip on my calendar, God did not. The Bible tells me that every day of my life, every second, has already been recorded in God’s book (Psalm 139:16) I have learned to hold onto plans loosely. I can’t imagine that not going to Dallas today is a part of some great cosmic plan, but evidently it is God’s plan for me. And cancelled plans means I get to spend a day at home, my favorite place. So I will hang out with my husband and doggies, doing a little reading and maybe some crafting. That actually sounds heavenly to me.

GLIMMERS

One of my intentions for 2026 is to be more aware of glimmers. If you don’t know what a glimmer is, I think of it as the opposite of a trigger. Most of us know what a trigger is. It can be internal, such as a thought or a feeling, or external such as a sight, a sound, or even a smell that cause a strong emotional or physical reaction. A trigger can set off a cascade of negative emotions such as anxiety and depression. But a glimmer, oh a glimmer.  Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy and they can be found everywhere. You don’t even need to leave you house if you start to look for them. They are everyday experiences that we often take for granted. When you take a moment to enjoy a sunset, or appreciate the laughter of a grandchild, you are having a glimmer moment. Unlike triggers, when we focus on God’s good gifts to us, even the small ones, we experience gratitude and well-being, and improved mental health. Glimmers create happiness by calming the nervous system, increasing neuroplasticity, and help to build positive mental health.

A few evenings ago, we experienced the first super moon of the year, called the wolf moon for the howling winter wolves (although in Tulsa, Oklahoma we haven’t had much winter). We had gone out to dinner, and since I cannot see a moonrise or a sunrise from my yard due to all the trees, I planned to look for it while we were out. The wolf moon did not disappoint. Oh my goodness! It was a big orange ball rising over the horizon. If you Google it, you can see some spectacular shots taken all over the world. Since we were in a busy commercial area, I wondered how many people even noticed. God went to all the trouble to put this beautiful object in the sky for us to enjoy, but I am thinking most of us didn’t stop to appreciate it. That was a spectacular glimmer!

But there are smaller ones every day. A text from a friend, the snores of a sleeping dog beside me, the quiet joy of being in a warm house with my needs met. God says, “Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10). To get the full benefit of a glimmer, we need to take a few seconds to savor it, to allow the feeling to take root. I am encouraging my clients to keep a glimmer journal, and I am going to do likewise. I bought a set of small journals form Archer & Olive, perfect for carrying with me. I am going to train my brain to look for glimmers, to be aware of God’s good gifts to me. I think it will be fun to look back over my glimmer journal at the end of the year and take inventory of my blessings.

YOU’RE GOING TO BE OKAY

This May is a month of graduations for us. Two down, and one to go. We have watched our granddaughter Ellie Grace graduate from the beautiful Belmont University with a degree in Motion Pictures. My uncle, Arthur Pierce, a lifelong filmmaker, would be so proud. Next was our Abby who graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma with her nursing degree. Next will be our high school senior, Emma, who will graduate from Owasso High School, and oh by the way, has just made cheerleader at OU! They all have bright futures. As I sat in these commencement ceremonies and watched all these bright-eyed youngsters, so eager to turn their tassels, I wanted to tell them all, “You’re going to be okay.”

When I was doing my internship for my doctorate in psychology, I spent one day a week in the career office at The University of Tulsa. Every week it was the same. Seniors would come in with that deer-in-the-headlight look of “I don’t know what I am going to do, and my parents are going to expect that I get a job, and I don’t even like my major! Maybe I’ll go to law school.” We had a battery of career testing we ran them through, but a large part of my job was just assuring them. “You’re going to be okay.”

They were afraid. Adulting was looming large. I am sure their parents, dreaming of moving them off the payroll, had been trying to have The Talk. I learned with my own grands, don’t ask what they plan to do after college. There could be tears.  Many of these reluctant grads were under the mistaken belief that the job they would get right after graduation would be a life sentence.  I got to tell them that would not be the case for most of them. Big sighs of relief! Gone are the days of forty years and a gold watch. Most people change careers (not jobs) three time during their lives. 

The good news for these college grads is that they have a degree, and no one can take that away from them. I remember thinking that at my own graduation, although I occasionally still have nightmares about getting a notice from TU that a mistake was made, and I need to come back and take more classes. 

To all you grads, I want to say well done! Congratulations to you and your parents. You now have a ticket to live out your dreams. Take a few days off and celebrate. And please, don’t ever stop learning.