Category: Aging

How Did I Get Here

I never expected to get old. I don’t know why…I just never pictured myself as old. I know it happens to everyone if they are lucky enough to make it to old age. But I didn’t expect it to happen to me, at least not so quickly. After all, I am a Baby Boomer. We are forever young, aren’t we?  And yet, here we are. My high school classmates are slowly falling apart or dying. Even Gidget and Moondoggie are gone. And even though I don’t feel old, the world constantly reminds me in subtle and subtle ways.

It began back in 2020, during the pandemic. The word “elderly” was used frequently. Wait! Are they talking about me?? That hit me with a jolt. Then our sweet neighbors volunteered to go to the grocery store for us because elderly people were told to stay home. That was thoughtful, but we never quit going to the grocery store. Besides, we are not elderly! My great-grandmother was elderly, but I am most certainly not!

However, according to experts, I became elderly some years ago. I hate the word, “elderly” because it sounds so fragile and frail. I’m also not crazy about “old,” “aged,” or “geriatric.” Some people dislike the term, “senior,” but that is one I can tolerate. People try to find nice ways to say old. I notice it, especially in the names of Sunday School small group classes for senior adults. (I just outed myself as old!) I was once in a class called, “Crown Adults.” They might as well call it God’s Waiting Room.

This business of aging has been especially on my mind this month because my husband and I both have birthdays in January. I have already had mine, so for a couple of weeks I am older than he is. And both of us have a really big number looming ahead next year. How in the world did this happen?

Despite everything I have just written, I am actually at peace with my age. It’s interesting how the shift from feeling “forever young” to suddenly seeing the signs of aging can happen so gradually, but still feel like a surprise when it hits. It’s like one day you wake up, and the world is reminding you in ways big and small that time is moving on. I guess I don’t like to be told that I am old. And I’m not crazy about looking old either. But there are some perks that come with being older. I am not opposed to taking advantage of a senior discount. And although it is sometimes annoying, lowered expectations of others can work in my favor. I like being able to sit down and get lost in a book in the middle of the day. Or having my pajamas on before Wheel of Fortune starts. I am not above playing the senior card when it works in my favor. My sister says, “In our declining years we can decline anything we want.” I like that! I am much more content at this point in my life. I don’t have to be on the go or attend every event.  

So what is my purpose at this point? I am still here so God must not be finished with me. I still do some counseling and that is fulfilling to me. I can listen and encourage folks. I can pray. And I can tell others about God’s faithfulness, even into my old age. 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

The Things We Keep

Jerry and I have spent the last week packing up our kitchen and dining room as part of a kitchen remodel.  This is something we have wanted to do for some time, but at the same time dreading.  It has been a big job, but we are finally ready for the painter who hopefully will show up today.  It was our plan to pare down and get rid of the things we no longer need or use.  Oh man!  Do we ever have a lot of stuff!

This is not our first pass at this trimming down our things.  We moved into this house 23 years ago, and got rid of a lot of things then.  It’s strange, but I still think of this as our new house.  But over the last 23 years we (okay, I) have managed to fill it up again.  

Deciding what to keep and what to donate has been a challenging task. How did I end up with so many loaf pans? 

Me: I wonder how many loaf pans to keep?

Jerry: When is the last time you cooked a loaf of anything?

Me: Well, I might make a meatloaf.

Jerry: We buy those at Costco now.

Oh yes.  He is right.  Costco makes a mean meatloaf. I am thinking I might keep one loaf pan.  Just because.

I had a moment when I was deciding what to do with Aunt Fannie Belle’s parfait glasses.  The layer of dust on them proved that I never use them, but getting rid of them seems so disloyal to her.  My Aunt Fannie Belle was my grandmother’s sister, and together they were the twin pillars of a chaotic childhood.  My safe people.  Aunt Fannie Belle lived in Houston, and my sister and I spent many summers with her.  Like her name suggests, she was a southern belle, and knew how to entertain.  I can remember those parfait glasses filled with wonderful concoctions when she hosted her bridge club or her circle group from church. 

My sister and I exchanged a few texts discussing the parfait glasses.  “Keep the memories, but let go of the parfait glasses,” she suggested.  Perfect!  I think about Aunt Fannie Belle almost daily, and obviously I don’t need the glasses to remind me of her.  Hence, the dust. The memories are what we keep.  And there are so many!

The older I get, the closer I am getting to Heaven, where wonderful reunions await.  I have a recurrent dream of taking a road trip with my sister, grandmother and Aunt Fannie Belle.  In the dream we are laughing and having the best time! I can’t imagine road trips in Heaven, but who knows?  To paraphrase Carrie Underwood, maybe Jesus will take the wheel.    

Things Are Not as They Seem

This journey through my “golden years” continues to surprise and challenge me.  My newest issue is my vision.  I am going to finally get cataract surgery.  “You will love it,” my friends say.  “You will wonder why you waited.”  “It’s a piece of cake,” they say.  I have barely begun the process and I have already encountered what is for me, a big problem.  Bifocals.  You may be thinking, “I’ve worn bifocals for years.  What’s the big deal?”

I have worn monovision contact lenses for years with few problems.   With monovision, the dominant eye is corrected for distance while the other eye is corrected for near viewing.  I thought I would be able to wear my contacts right up until surgery, but I was told I would need to be in bifocal glasses for a few weeks so that the eye surgeon can get accurate measurements of my corneas.  Evidently wearing contacts causes a problem with measurements. 

I picked out a cute pair of frames and thought wearing them for a few weeks would be no problem.  Oh boy, was I wrong about that!  My brain, used to monovison, and my eyes, looking through bifocal lenses, do not want to work together at all!  Shapes are distorted, I can’t tell distances, and my sense of balance, already wobbly, is now even more compromised.  I know this computer screen I am looking at is rectangular, but it looks more like a parallelogram.  I know where I keep small salad plates, but when I pull them out they look like oblong platters.  I know there is a step down into the garage, but if I don’t hold onto the wall I am going to miss it.  I feel like I am living in a fun house with distorting mirrors and uneven floors.  And I have picked up a few bruises by trusting my eyes.  It is taking awhile for my brain and my eyes to sync.  In the meantime I must trust what I know to be true, and not rely on my distorted vision.    

I was thinking about how life is not always as it seems.  For the community of Covenant Presbyterian Church and School, Monday morning looked like a normal day.  Tucked into a pretty, upscale neighborhood in Nashville, the school looked like a safe place for children and staff.  Parents dropped their children off thinking they would see them again in the afternoon.  The pastor may have been working on a Palm Sunday message, not imagining that his nine-year old daughter would be murdered.  Life looked safe and normal, but the evil no one could see was ready to strike.

How do we cope when tragedy strikes?  When, like the tornado victims in 

Alabama, all we can see is loss and devastation?  When hope seems gone?  It is during those times that we must trust what we know to be true.  Here is what I know:

  • I know that God is good.  All the time.  Even when the world is full of evil, God is still good.
  • I know that Jesus told us that we would have troubles as long as we are on this earth.  But I also know that He promised we would not have to face those troubles alone.  That He would walk with us through our hard places.
  • I know that God can bring good out of the worst.  Even when life seems hopeless and black, there is still good.  Even when our pain is screaming so loudly that we can barely hear anything else, God’s voice is stronger still.  “I love you.  I will care for you.”
  • I know that God is sovereign.  He is still on the throne and He is in control.  Even when a tornado rips our world to shreds, He is not caught off guard.  He still has a plan for our welfare and His glory.     
  • I know that even when the world strips us of everything we hold dear, He will still supply all our needs.
  • I know that in our darkest hours, we must walk by faith and not by sight.