Category: Bible

Celebrating Life’s Blessings: A Personal Journey

As we come to the end of April and move into May, I am praising God for an abundance of blessings. May is going to be a busy month, with milestone events and celebrations. We have three graduations, three birthdays, Mother’s Day, and we end the month with a 60th wedding anniversary for Jerry and me! My cup runneth over!

My story is a “But God…” story. There is no reason I should be living this life except for the grace of God. I can look back at my chaotic childhood and see the hand of God in it. He was protecting me from danger and placing strategic people in my path. Often I wonder, “Who prayed?” Some of those strategic people were my high school friends who invited me to their church, and I will be eternally grateful. I was pretty allergic to church at that time, but they continued to invite me. At that church I learned that I, like everyone else, was a sinner and deserved punishment. But God. He provided a payment for my sins when He sent His Son to shed His blood as a sacrifice. Jesus paid my debt. My life began to change. It was headed in one direction, but Jesus turned it around. Thank you, Lord!

Jerry and I were nineteen when we married. Smart. I have often said I wish I was as smart now as I thought I was then. But God. He drew us into a Bible teaching church and surrounded us with good friends. We grew in our faith, and I developed a lasting love for the Bible. There were times when marriage wasn’t easy. I often picture marriage as the anvil God placed me on, to chip away everything that didn’t look like Jesus. And there has been plenty of chipping material! Anyone who is a veteran of an enduring marriage will tell you that you are married to several different people over the years. And marriages have seasons. Over time Jerry and I produced three daughters, nine grandchildren (plus two bonus grands), and four greats! It is always someone’s birthday! 

Since I married so young, I had to drop out of college, But God. After my girls finished school, God gave me a desire and a calling. Now it was my turn to go to school and I finished with my doctorate and have been practicing psychology for twenty-one years. 

Ten years ago, Jerry almost died. He was so sick with necrotizing pancreatitis. He had to have what the doctor called “catastrophic surgery.” No one thought he would make it, except our pastor.  Another one of those strategic people! I prayed and prayed and prayed, until I was finally able to say, “Not my will but Thine,” and mean it. I still didn’t have any assurance that Jerry would survive, but I had peace. Since that time, I have been able to turn over so many things to God, and that is a wonderful, peaceful thing. How stupid am I?! I really have very little control anyway! And God promised me years ago that He had a good future for me.

Jerry began to get well and a few months later we realized that we could not remain dogless. We decided to rescue an older female dog and came home with puppies, a male and a female. Our Max and Ruby turned ten yesterday, and we count them as blessings for sure. They make us laugh every day.

Our upcoming anniversary seems like a culmination of all these life events. The cherry on top. How do I say thank you? These words, and even my prayers, seem so inadequate. I hope you know this Jesus of mine. If you don’t, you can. Simply acknowledge your sins and ask for forgiveness. Thank Him for paying your sin debt, and tell Him that from now on, you want to follow Him.  And then hang on! Your life will change.

So this is my story. It would be more accurate to say, this is God’s story. I am just a tiny piece of it. I thought I invited Jesus into my life, but he actually invited me into His.  How is that even possible? But God.

THE BUMPY ROAD

I recently discovered a beautiful magazine, Bella Grace. It is full of lovely images and inspiration for those of us who journal. In the current issue there is an article that inspired me: “33 Reasons Why the Bumpy Road is Always Better.” That title resonated with me because I took the bumpy road in life when I went to college at age 47.  That was some bumpy road! Things had changed a lot!  And the bumps got bigger when I went to graduate school.  There were days moments when I was looking for an on ramp to get back on the freeway. Maybe I should just drop out and go to lunch with my girlfriends! But I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and I got to the end of that particular bumpy road. I was the oldest graduate! So old that one of our local television stations sent out a news crew. “Old woman earns doctorate.”

Robert Frost describes our life choices beautifully in his narrative poem, “The Road Not Taken.” I have always seen myself in that poem. One thing I have learned over the years is that there are many different ways to live a life. Taking the bumpy road requires courage. I think of my granddaughter, Hannah who left behind everything familiar and moved to Colorado on her own because she wanted to live close to the mountains. She is flourishing! I always wanted to live close to the mountains too, but would never have had the courage to make a move like that in my twenties.

Using the article as a journaling prompt, I began a list in a small journal I am keeping.  Here are a few of my reasons; see if you can add some more.

Reasons Why the Bumpy Road is Always Better

  • It helps you find your true north and gets you to the place you were always meant to be.
  • The bumpy road is more interesting than the super highway.
  • Fast is not always better. There are lessons to be learned along the way, and learning takes time.
  • Even detours are a part of the plan.
  • You meet the most interesting people.
  • There are always hidden gifts to discover.
  • Bumpy roads develop trust muscles. I learned to trust God, others and myself.
  • Those bumps caused me to lean in closer to God and deepen my relationship with Him.
  • I learned I could do hard things and achieve my goals, even when they seem impossibly high.
  • Looking back, I can see that I created some of those bumps myself.  Choices have consequences. Once I figured out that God had a plan for me, and then got onboard with it, that bumpy road didn’t seem so impassable.
  • I hope I have carved out some hard-won ruts and left a trail for those coming behind me.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

LET THERE BE LIGHT

The light in our closet went out Saturday night, right as we were getting ready for bed. It is a florescent light and we were out of florescent tubes. I don’t know why but burned out lights really bother me. I used to have nightmares about all the lights in the house going out and being out of light bulbs. Saturday had been a busy day, so we decided to pick up some tubes after church the next day.  That meant on Sunday morning we would be picking out clothes by the light of our cell phones.

         Jerry: “Does this sweater go with these pants?” 

         Me: “Umm, no.  Try again.”

I was still thinking about light (and darkness) when we went to our small group. Our lesson was on the first chapter of Genesis and I was reminded again about the importance of light. Evidently I am not the only one who thinks light is essential, because God created it on the very first day. God, in His orderly fashion of creation knew that light is vital to sustain the earth. Light from the sun warms the earth, and provides energy for plants to grow. Without light, the earth would be an uninhabitable ball of ice. 

One of the main reasons humans need light is to see.  Without light we would be stumbling around in the darkness, trying to avoid obstacles. We would get lost. We could not survive. Sean Dietrich is a writer that I follow and you should too. He is a gifted storyteller and a keen observe of the world. Sean likes to write about a blind dog named Marigold that he rescued. Marigold needs Sean to be her eyes, her light. In fact, experts say Marigold would not have survived without Sean. You can read Marigold’s sad backstory on Sean’s website.  

As we move into the Christmas season, think about God sending His Son to be the Light of the World. God knew that we need light for our physical lives as well as our spiritual lives. Without Jesus we are spiritually blind and dead. When Jesus enters your life you can see! You can see your spiritual condition, how lost you are. When you invite him into your life, He becomes your vision!  You see things in a different way.  And you are no longer dead. The minute you say, “yes” to Christ, you begin your eternal life.

Just as Marigold cannot survive without Sean, we cannot survive without Jesus. Oh we may think we can. In fact, we may think we are doing pretty well without Him.  But our story is not over yet. We can’t see our true condition because we are spiritually blind.

Jerry and I have been moved to pray for our world, for another Great Awakening that we believe is coming. So many are stumbling around in darkness. They are trying to live a life blindly. The Gospel of John declares Jesus as “the true light which gives light to everyone.”  Jesus spoke of Himself as the Light of the world, “whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12).

With the coming of Christmas there are so many items on our “to do” lists.  Shopping, wrapping, cleaning, cooking, and entertaining. With that much to do it will be easy to miss the light. If you are reading these words, this is my prayer for you: If you have never received this light named Jesus, I would urge you to take a moment, bow your head and confess your need for Him. Invite Him into your life to light your way. If you would like to know more about the Light, read the first chapter of John. For those of you who already believe, I pray that you slow down and take some time each day to talk with Jesus and thank Him for entering our dark world and changing it forever.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that light was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:1-5 NIV

A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING

A few years ago there was a commercial for some baby product…I can’t remember which… that ended with the statement, “A baby changes everything.” There is a giant truth wrapped in those four words. Almost from the moment of conception, things change and they never go back to the way they were. Our family has had four new babies in four years and these four little ones have rocked our world. We have seen our daughter and her husband become grandparents, which means that Jerry and I have become great-grandparents!  That feels like a seismic change. It also means that we are old, but that is a different post for another day.

If you have any expectant parents in your life you know that they take baby preparations very seriously. Everything from pacifiers to pediatrician is carefully researched, compared, and discussed.  And so much baby equipment! What kind of crib? Which type of diapers? And there are so many options for strollers I don’t know how you ever decide. There is even a swaddling bassinet that rocks and soothes baby back to sleep as soon as baby stirs. When I think about my own babies I wonder how they ever survived to adulthood. I remember bringing my newborns home from the hospital in my arms.  In the front seat!

Not everyone is thrilled when they get the news that a baby is coming.  Some may feel that they are not ready to be parents, that the timing is wrong, that they have a different plan for their lives. Others are just plain terrified. I think that is part of the reason God gives us nine months of pregnancy. It takes that long to prepare, to get mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for the new life that will change your life. And even for those who have planned and longed for the birth of their baby, it takes time to move from wanting a sweet little baby to being prepared to parent a demanding, crying infant who entirely depends on you.

For the last several days I have been thinking about getting ready for Christmas and Advent. In fact our pastor began to preach on the birth of Jesus and he talked about Mary, about the unexpected interruption into her life.  I wonder what it was like to get such an incredible announcement. The news the angel delivered was impossible, and yet, nothing is impossible with God. She had a choice to make, and in that moment Mary moved from someone who believed in God to one who believed God.  There is a difference. Even though Mary immediately said yes to God, I can imagine that she needed time to prepare her own heart to become the mother of the Messiah.  A huge task for a young girl, but not too huge for a great God. Mary’s baby would change everything! 

Every year Christmas comes with hustle and bustle. And so many preparations! We get physically ready. We decorate, we shop, we wrap, and we bake. We make lists and we strategize. Just as Mary brought Christ into the world, by and large it is women who bring Christmas into the home. We may need to get emotionally ready to deal with difficult family members or we may be grieving the loss of a loved one.

We make all these preparations, but do we spiritually prepare? This year I want to do more Advent devotionals, and pray more. I want to prepare my heart for more than a sweet baby in a manger. I want to be ready for the King of Kings, the cosmic Christ whose birth changed the world forever. Like Mary, we have been called to bear Christ to the world and I too want to say yes to God.  As my pastor said, God’s interruption in my life is better than any plans I might have. I want to open the door to my heart and say, “Come, Lord Jesus,” and I want to mean those words in all their fullness.

Have you ever said yes to Jesus?

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.’ Rev. 3:20 NIV

Things Are Not as They Seem

This journey through my “golden years” continues to surprise and challenge me.  My newest issue is my vision.  I am going to finally get cataract surgery.  “You will love it,” my friends say.  “You will wonder why you waited.”  “It’s a piece of cake,” they say.  I have barely begun the process and I have already encountered what is for me, a big problem.  Bifocals.  You may be thinking, “I’ve worn bifocals for years.  What’s the big deal?”

I have worn monovision contact lenses for years with few problems.   With monovision, the dominant eye is corrected for distance while the other eye is corrected for near viewing.  I thought I would be able to wear my contacts right up until surgery, but I was told I would need to be in bifocal glasses for a few weeks so that the eye surgeon can get accurate measurements of my corneas.  Evidently wearing contacts causes a problem with measurements. 

I picked out a cute pair of frames and thought wearing them for a few weeks would be no problem.  Oh boy, was I wrong about that!  My brain, used to monovison, and my eyes, looking through bifocal lenses, do not want to work together at all!  Shapes are distorted, I can’t tell distances, and my sense of balance, already wobbly, is now even more compromised.  I know this computer screen I am looking at is rectangular, but it looks more like a parallelogram.  I know where I keep small salad plates, but when I pull them out they look like oblong platters.  I know there is a step down into the garage, but if I don’t hold onto the wall I am going to miss it.  I feel like I am living in a fun house with distorting mirrors and uneven floors.  And I have picked up a few bruises by trusting my eyes.  It is taking awhile for my brain and my eyes to sync.  In the meantime I must trust what I know to be true, and not rely on my distorted vision.    

I was thinking about how life is not always as it seems.  For the community of Covenant Presbyterian Church and School, Monday morning looked like a normal day.  Tucked into a pretty, upscale neighborhood in Nashville, the school looked like a safe place for children and staff.  Parents dropped their children off thinking they would see them again in the afternoon.  The pastor may have been working on a Palm Sunday message, not imagining that his nine-year old daughter would be murdered.  Life looked safe and normal, but the evil no one could see was ready to strike.

How do we cope when tragedy strikes?  When, like the tornado victims in 

Alabama, all we can see is loss and devastation?  When hope seems gone?  It is during those times that we must trust what we know to be true.  Here is what I know:

  • I know that God is good.  All the time.  Even when the world is full of evil, God is still good.
  • I know that Jesus told us that we would have troubles as long as we are on this earth.  But I also know that He promised we would not have to face those troubles alone.  That He would walk with us through our hard places.
  • I know that God can bring good out of the worst.  Even when life seems hopeless and black, there is still good.  Even when our pain is screaming so loudly that we can barely hear anything else, God’s voice is stronger still.  “I love you.  I will care for you.”
  • I know that God is sovereign.  He is still on the throne and He is in control.  Even when a tornado rips our world to shreds, He is not caught off guard.  He still has a plan for our welfare and His glory.     
  • I know that even when the world strips us of everything we hold dear, He will still supply all our needs.
  • I know that in our darkest hours, we must walk by faith and not by sight.  

THANKFUL

I awoke this morning to a chilly reading on the thermometer and a light dusting of snow on the ground and housetops.  With Thanksgiving less than a week away, I decided today would be a perfect day to make my dressing.  The house is redolent with the aromas of freshly baked cornbread, along with celery and onions sautéing in a bath of melted butter.  Short of a turkey roasting in the oven, I can’t think any smell more evocative of Thanksgiving.  Even though it is a gray day outside, the lights from the Christmas tree create a festive atmosphere indoors.  The sounds of glorious Christmas music fill the air while the dishwasher is hums along as it gives my holiday glassware a good cleansing, necessary after a year in my Great Aunt Fannie Belle’s china cabinet.  This is my happy place and my heart is overflowing with gratitude.

We will have 18-ish at our table this year.  It’s a moving target, but there will be plenty of food for anyone who shows up at the last minute.  We are grateful for everyone who can make it, and will miss those who cannot.  With grown children and mostly-grown grands, we have a lot of moving parts now.  I try to stay flexible, thankful that I can host this holiday and mindful of my days getting shorter.  Next year is not guaranteed.  I can remember my grandmother saying the same thing at holidays in the passed.  I dismissed it as something an old woman says, but mostly because I just could not fathom a holiday without her.  Oh how I wish she could be with us this year.  

As I think back over the year, we have many reasons to be thankful on this day of thanks.  Has it been all lollipops and roses?  Absolutely not!  But Jesus has walked with us every day.  There have been days of laughter and fun, but also days of tears and grief.  We have had days that surprised us with joy and days that kicked us in the gut.  Days of celebrations and days of terrifying uncertainty.  There were nights that robbed us of sleep as we gave way to fear. And there were days that left us scratching our heads in dismay.  Although we don’t enjoy the bad days, they make the good days all the more sweet.  And there were more good days than bad! 

If I try to list all my blessings I will certainly miss some, but here is a start.  I am grateful for an enduring marriage and my husband Jerry who survived a near-fatal illness a few years ago.  Every day one of us says, “We got another day.”  We know these are bonus days and we don’t take them for granted.  I am so thankful for my growing family, and grateful for extended family scattered across America.  To those who can’t be with us, I wish you a very happy thanksgiving.  We have an empty chair at our table this year as our Mimi left us to join her beloved husband in Heaven.  Mindful of others who have left us, I can still say God has blessed us.  

When I think of all our friends, my heart could almost burst.  We have precious life-long friends, and those who have come along more recently.  I am grateful for a Bible-teaching church and a fellowship of Believers who hold the ropes for each other.  I am thankful for 48 years of affiliation with Stonecroft Ministries and the opportunities to share the Gospel.  I love my Tulsa Woven girls!  I am blessed to attend Community Bible Study, where I have deepened my relationship with the Lord and made deep friendships.  Bible Quilt Journaling and the ladies who are a part of it bless me with a different method of meditating on Scripture.

It is noon and the alarm on my watch has just alerted me to pray for America.  I have thought many times how grateful I am that I was born in the USA.  Oh how I love this beautiful land of ours, and how I long to see another Great Awakening.  Jerry and I have been blessed to see a good deal of America, but there are still National Parks we hope to explore.  I am grateful for the freedoms we have, and for those who died to protect those freedoms.

Most of all, I am thankful for the privilege of knowing God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  He has provided me with everything I need, and kept every promise He has made to me.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I know the One who holds the future.  And for that I am indescribably thankful.

I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.  Is. 46:4 NLT

THE MESSY MIDDLE

It has been awhile since I have written anything.  It’s not that I haven’t had ideas that have come to me.  It is because my writing time has been absorbed by a hobby.  It all started a few years ago when I was introduced to Bible Quilt Journaling, created by my friend Dianna.  Briefly, this is a method of journaling and meditating on scripture in an “artistic’ manner.  I put quotes around artistic because believe me, I am no artist.  In the beginning my pages could have been done better by a first grader.  But over time I got better at it.  

Bible Quilting has nothing to do with sewing for those of you who may be allergic to sewing machines, but it does require some supplies.  Since I have never been a crafter, I didn’t even have a decent set of colored pencils, so I started acquiring a few things.  Those who know me well are laughing at “few things”, because this pursuit has taken on a life of its own, and I have acquired a lot of things I never knew I needed.  Along the way I discovered beautiful papers and fell down a rabbit hole!  I wanted to learn different ways to journal and find ways to use up all this paper I was ordering.  

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, I started making all different kinds of journals…jot journals, gratitude journals, pretty daily journals for every season…and then, I discovered junk journals.  That was when the little space I was using in a spare bedroom became too small.  I got rid of all the bedroom pieces and created a craft room.  All that paper and those supplies take up a LOT of space!  

When people ask me to describe junk journaling I usually direct them to a video on YouTube, but junk journalers are all over social media platforms.  It is hard to describe, but basically it involves using bits of this and that, things you would normally discard, and using them to create journals.  I started to think twice before throwing things away.  Suddenly the most exciting thing about an Amazon delivery was the packing paper. (Unless the box contained craft paper or washi tape).  I found a group of talented junk journalers that I follow regularly.  They are mostly in the UK and I love listening to them talk as I work on my journals.  Several of the artists have formed a consortium and they create challenges for their followers.   Currently I am about to complete Junk Journal July, and my journal is getting nice and chunky.  There is a journaling prompt for every day of July, and I am almost at the end.

I could go on and on about journaling, but that is not the purpose of this post.  This morning I was working on the prompt, “stencils.”  The medium you see in the picture is a yummy concoction called stencil butter.  I had to pause to let it dry and I was thinking about what else I want to add to the page.  Right now I am in the messy middle.  I really don’t know what the finished page will look like.  My pages seem to gradually come to be on their own.  I have learned to trust the process.

It hit me that most of us live in the messy middle.  We move from one situation to another, and on a larger scale, one season of life to another.  We may have entered adulthood with a plan for our lives, firm thoughts about how things should go.  And God laughed.  Things rarely go the way we think they should.  In fact, I spend a good deal of time with my therapy clients helping them to let go of the “shoulds.”  It’s not that our plans and ideas are wrong.  It is just that life has a way of moving us from one messy middle to another.  It is sometimes hard to see how things will turn out.  And it is in the messy middle that we develop our trust muscles.  We may not know how our current page is going to turn out, but God does.  We just trust Him and trust the process.  

It is fine to make a life plan, to have goals and dreams.  But God has dreams for us too.  We become much less frustrated when we discover God’s plans for us and get on board with them.  We find true fulfillment when God’s desires become our desires.  It is then that we are in sync with our Creator, the Artist of our lives.

You know what I really love about junk journaling?  It is the taking of something of no value, something discardable, and turning it into something lovely.  That is exactly what God does.  He takes the mess of our lives and repurposes it into something beautiful.  

 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Prov. 19:21

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jer. 29:11

FINAL INSTRUCTIONS

We had an interesting assignment in our small group at church.  In preparation for Easter, we have been studying the chapters in the book of John that lead up to the crucifixion and resurrection, the final days of Jesus here on earth.  In these chapters, Jesus is telling his disciples the important things He wants them to remember after He is gone.  Our teacher challenged us with this thought: If you knew you had only one week to live, what would be five things you would want to say to your loved ones?  That question intrigued me.  

I remember the feeling I had when we dropped each of our three daughters off at college.  Had I done enough?  Did I teach them everything they would need to know?  Those eighteen years that seemed to last so long now seemed to be much too brief.  As someone has said, the days are long but the years are short.  And if I knew I was going to die next week, I am sure I would have those same feelings again.  The years went by so quickly, where did the time go?  Did I do all I needed to do as a mother and a grandmother?  So here are my five things.  Only five?  I might need more.

For my family,

Here are the most important things I want you to know, the things I want you to remember after I am gone:

  1. I love you so much, but I could never love you as much as Jesus loves you.  My favorite job on earth was being a wife, a mom and a JuJu, and I loved every minute of time I got to spend with you, every phone call, and text.  I will not always be here with you.  I know you understand that intellectually, but you won’t really KNOW it until after I am gone.  You will miss me, but you will always carry a bit of me in your hearts.  Just know that I will be waiting for you in Heaven.  I am so grateful that each of you has trusted the Lord for your salvation and that we will spend eternity together.  Until then, it is my desire that you love each other and keep the family close.  Family is important.
  2.  This life is not about your happiness, although I hope you are happy.  It is about your holiness, and I wish that for you above all else.  You will have good times and bad, mountains and valleys.  All of your trials have been custom designed for you by God to make you more like Jesus.  Like a sculptor who is creating a beautiful work of art, God is constantly chipping away at all of those pieces that need to go, everything that doesn’t look like Christ.
  3. While there is much in this world to enjoy, it is not your home.  Remember that you carry a heavenly passport and one day you will get to live there permanently.  In the meantime, you are on mission, an ambassador for Christ.  You will face scorn, ridicule, and maybe even persecution for your beliefs.  The world will call you ignorant, narrow-minded, and rigid.  They will tell you that the Bible is outdated and no longer relevant.  Don’t believe them.  Remember who you are and whose you are.  Try to memorize as much scripture as possible because a day may come when you no longer have access to the Bible.  And remember, you may be the only Bible some people ever see. 
  4. Find a Bible teaching church and join it.  Get into a small group and become a part of a faith community.  Find your ministry.  Get into a Bible study and look for good para-church organizations to join.  
  5. To those of you who are still unmarried, make sure you marry a Believer, someone with a biblical worldview.  Craft a mission statement for your marriage and spend your time doing things that have eternal value.  Decide early that you will go to church on Sundays, and you will never again have that Sunday morning debate.  Are we going to church today?  It will just become what you do.  Learn to tithe early.  Pray and read the Bible together.  Cultivate friendships with other Christians.  Do good in the world and be kind to others.

Whew!  That’s a lot, but certainly not exhaustive.  I could have included things like keep your little part of the world tidy, be a good citizen and vote, plant trees, and back up your hard drive.  But then, you already know those things.  Above all, go back to number one.  I love you so much!

For others of you who may happen to read this, I would love your comments.  What did I leave out?  I look forward to reading your answers.                  

WHAT SHOULD I PACK?

If you have ever traveled with me you know that I am not a light packer.  I like to be prepared for every possible occasion, so this might mean five pairs of shoes, multiple outfits per day and lots of makeup and hair products.  Making decisions about what to pack overwhelms me, so I end up packing way more than I need.  Or use.  I have just never mastered the travel system of three black pieces and a few accessories.  One time I got to Rome and discovered that my luggage was lost.  No change of clothes for three days!  I’m not going to let that happen again, so I bought a new carry-on that can hold enough for a couple of days.

I’ve always called myself a “more is more” kind of girl.  I like stuff and I have a lot of it.  Now I am trying to let go of some of my things and it’s a struggle.  A few years ago, when I was enthralled with Downton Abbey, I began collecting china teacups.  I was excited to find some of the patterns that I saw on the show, but now I wish I never started.  Those pretty teacups are taking up valuable real estate in my china cabinet.  And I never use them.

By now you may be wondering where I am going with all of this.  I don’t know about you, but I have found it hard to tear myself away from the drama in Ukraine that is playing out before our eyes.  I almost feel guilty for going about my daily routine when there is so much suffering on the other side of the world.  I watch the people, cold and hungry, sometimes walking for miles, while carrying babies and dragging a suitcase.  One suitcase!  What do they put in that one single suitcase?

I ask myself what I would pack in that situation.  What things would be the most essential?  I would probably pack a change of clothes, something sensible and warm.  I would not be concerned about having just the right outfit; warm and dry would do.  What else?  I would probably include essential paperwork and documentation and cash, if I had any.  Medications would be more important than mascara.  Since my electronic gadgets have become so important to me I would pack a cell phone charger and pray for cell service and Internet.  I would really like to take my laptop, but that might need to be left behind.  And a Bible.  I saw one man on television whose home was destroyed and he was crying over his lost Bible.  I get it.  I would hate to go through a war without a Bible.   

A war (even watching one from afar) causes one to re-examine one’s priorities.  What are the things that matter?  These people in Ukraine are going to lose every earthly possession.  It looks like there will be nothing left even if they are able to return.  They will lose their houses and all the contents, things they may have spent a lifetime acquiring.  Their cars have been blown up as well a their businesses and schools.  And those things are not trivial.  I think about family photos and mementos and little trinkets that children have made.  Some people must leave their pets.  And many are leaving behind precious loved ones, men of fighting age and those who are too old or ill to make the treacherous journey. 

So what are my essential things?  My family and friends, my two dogs, and some form of Bible.  My thing that is most precious to me is the one thing that can never be taken away, even if I lose my life: my relationship with Jesus.  That is the most practical thing I can ever pack.  It never gets old, worn out, or depleted.  It doesn’t take up any space, it is suitable for every eventuality, and it can never be lost or stolen.  And if I don’t have a Bible?  I would hate that, but I have spent years hiding God’s word in my heart.  As I watched that man who was grieving over his lost Bible, my thought was, “Now it is your turn to be a living Bible to those around you.”  

May America never experience what we are watching on television.  And may God bless all those impacted by this terrible war. 

“ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39.