Category: Goodness of God

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I’m glad to get my house back in order, but I miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and make my coffee.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and the relationships.  I was in a reflective mood this Christmas. The grandchildren are all grown now…only one left in high school. They are all busy and don’t have as much time for us as when they were little, but I treasure what time I can get with them. This has been a year of letting go. Letting go of expectations as we have learned to be flexible about family events. Whosoever will may come! And we have had to let go of dear friends who have passed on to heaven. And maybe that is what makes Christmas so special.  It is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas.  I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it.  After everyone left on Christmas evening, Jerry and i hugged and said, “We got to have another one.”

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children and grandchildren.  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with enduring friendships, and newer ones as well.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

Celebrating Life’s Blessings: A Personal Journey

As we come to the end of April and move into May, I am praising God for an abundance of blessings. May is going to be a busy month, with milestone events and celebrations. We have three graduations, three birthdays, Mother’s Day, and we end the month with a 60th wedding anniversary for Jerry and me! My cup runneth over!

My story is a “But God…” story. There is no reason I should be living this life except for the grace of God. I can look back at my chaotic childhood and see the hand of God in it. He was protecting me from danger and placing strategic people in my path. Often I wonder, “Who prayed?” Some of those strategic people were my high school friends who invited me to their church, and I will be eternally grateful. I was pretty allergic to church at that time, but they continued to invite me. At that church I learned that I, like everyone else, was a sinner and deserved punishment. But God. He provided a payment for my sins when He sent His Son to shed His blood as a sacrifice. Jesus paid my debt. My life began to change. It was headed in one direction, but Jesus turned it around. Thank you, Lord!

Jerry and I were nineteen when we married. Smart. I have often said I wish I was as smart now as I thought I was then. But God. He drew us into a Bible teaching church and surrounded us with good friends. We grew in our faith, and I developed a lasting love for the Bible. There were times when marriage wasn’t easy. I often picture marriage as the anvil God placed me on, to chip away everything that didn’t look like Jesus. And there has been plenty of chipping material! Anyone who is a veteran of an enduring marriage will tell you that you are married to several different people over the years. And marriages have seasons. Over time Jerry and I produced three daughters, nine grandchildren (plus two bonus grands), and four greats! It is always someone’s birthday! 

Since I married so young, I had to drop out of college, But God. After my girls finished school, God gave me a desire and a calling. Now it was my turn to go to school and I finished with my doctorate and have been practicing psychology for twenty-one years. 

Ten years ago, Jerry almost died. He was so sick with necrotizing pancreatitis. He had to have what the doctor called “catastrophic surgery.” No one thought he would make it, except our pastor.  Another one of those strategic people! I prayed and prayed and prayed, until I was finally able to say, “Not my will but Thine,” and mean it. I still didn’t have any assurance that Jerry would survive, but I had peace. Since that time, I have been able to turn over so many things to God, and that is a wonderful, peaceful thing. How stupid am I?! I really have very little control anyway! And God promised me years ago that He had a good future for me.

Jerry began to get well and a few months later we realized that we could not remain dogless. We decided to rescue an older female dog and came home with puppies, a male and a female. Our Max and Ruby turned ten yesterday, and we count them as blessings for sure. They make us laugh every day.

Our upcoming anniversary seems like a culmination of all these life events. The cherry on top. How do I say thank you? These words, and even my prayers, seem so inadequate. I hope you know this Jesus of mine. If you don’t, you can. Simply acknowledge your sins and ask for forgiveness. Thank Him for paying your sin debt, and tell Him that from now on, you want to follow Him.  And then hang on! Your life will change.

So this is my story. It would be more accurate to say, this is God’s story. I am just a tiny piece of it. I thought I invited Jesus into my life, but he actually invited me into His.  How is that even possible? But God.

How Did I Get Here

I never expected to get old. I don’t know why…I just never pictured myself as old. I know it happens to everyone if they are lucky enough to make it to old age. But I didn’t expect it to happen to me, at least not so quickly. After all, I am a Baby Boomer. We are forever young, aren’t we?  And yet, here we are. My high school classmates are slowly falling apart or dying. Even Gidget and Moondoggie are gone. And even though I don’t feel old, the world constantly reminds me in subtle and subtle ways.

It began back in 2020, during the pandemic. The word “elderly” was used frequently. Wait! Are they talking about me?? That hit me with a jolt. Then our sweet neighbors volunteered to go to the grocery store for us because elderly people were told to stay home. That was thoughtful, but we never quit going to the grocery store. Besides, we are not elderly! My great-grandmother was elderly, but I am most certainly not!

However, according to experts, I became elderly some years ago. I hate the word, “elderly” because it sounds so fragile and frail. I’m also not crazy about “old,” “aged,” or “geriatric.” Some people dislike the term, “senior,” but that is one I can tolerate. People try to find nice ways to say old. I notice it, especially in the names of Sunday School small group classes for senior adults. (I just outed myself as old!) I was once in a class called, “Crown Adults.” They might as well call it God’s Waiting Room.

This business of aging has been especially on my mind this month because my husband and I both have birthdays in January. I have already had mine, so for a couple of weeks I am older than he is. And both of us have a really big number looming ahead next year. How in the world did this happen?

Despite everything I have just written, I am actually at peace with my age. It’s interesting how the shift from feeling “forever young” to suddenly seeing the signs of aging can happen so gradually, but still feel like a surprise when it hits. It’s like one day you wake up, and the world is reminding you in ways big and small that time is moving on. I guess I don’t like to be told that I am old. And I’m not crazy about looking old either. But there are some perks that come with being older. I am not opposed to taking advantage of a senior discount. And although it is sometimes annoying, lowered expectations of others can work in my favor. I like being able to sit down and get lost in a book in the middle of the day. Or having my pajamas on before Wheel of Fortune starts. I am not above playing the senior card when it works in my favor. My sister says, “In our declining years we can decline anything we want.” I like that! I am much more content at this point in my life. I don’t have to be on the go or attend every event.  

So what is my purpose at this point? I am still here so God must not be finished with me. I still do some counseling and that is fulfilling to me. I can listen and encourage folks. I can pray. And I can tell others about God’s faithfulness, even into my old age. 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

THE COLLEGE GOODBYE

We have another grandchild who is about to be launched and I have such a mixture of feelings about it.  I guess you could say I am “sad-cited.” I am sad to see my active grandparenting years come to an end (although they never really do), but so excited to see him live his next chapter. Mix those feelings with a bit of angst about the dangers that lurk about, and I guess you get the picture. Where did that little boy go? He should still be toddling through our house with his Blues Clues “handy dandy notebook” looking for clues.

He is our 7th grand, so this is not our first dance. I had made him a little “college survival kit” and then Jerry and I took him out for a celebration dinner last night. He is so ready for this next step. But I must tell you, it was hard to see him drive off last night. I was surprised at the emotion I felt. He is only going down the road to Stillwater, for Pete’s sake. (A little play on words…IYKYK). But things will be different. 

I was flooded with memories last night of times when our house was filled with grandchildren. Of times when the playroom would be strewn with Fisher price toys, of impromptu talent shows, and giggles during sleepovers. The youngest of our 9 is now 14 and busy, busy, busy!  I was trying to remember the last sleepover we had, but it is all a blur. That is the thing about last times. You usually don’t recognize them as such.

I was also remembering our own college drop-offs and thinking about our daughter who has her own mixed feelings about her grownup boy leaving the nest: excitement, pride, worry, and so much love. I keep telling her it will be okay, because it will be. I can remember the gut-wrenching loss I felt when we left our 3 daughters at college, and how ready I was for them to go back to school by the time Christmas break was over. 

 I have decided that this motherhood thing is one long series of putting the baby in the basket. I must trust that God loves them more than I do, and He has good plans for them. As I was praying for them this morning, my thoughts were on the next school year. We will have 4 on college campuses, 2 in high school and 4 little great-grands who are just beginning this process. Lots of moving parts and lots of potential land mines. And God has it all covered.    

All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.  Isaiah 54:13

DREAM HOME

This morning as I was drinking my coffee and trying to come to, a random memory popped up.  I don’t know why, unless it was because I was at our granddaughter’s middle school last night. She was being inducted into the National Junior Honor Society (Go Livvy!), but my memory had nothing to do with NJHS. It was a junior high school memory however. I had a flashback to an assignment out homemaking teacher gave us. We were to create a Dream Home notebook.

Armed with scissors, magazines, and glue, I went after that assignment with a good deal of enthusiasm. I don’t remember exactly what my dream home looked like, but I know it was over the top! Downton Abbey pales in comparison. I had some serious delusions of grandeur! But it made me think, what is my dream home today? Immediately I realized, I am living in it.

Over the years my ideas about my dream home changed. I have lived in many different homes in my long life. Some were nice, others not so much. But all have been better than those of most of the world.  And larger for sure. I read that about half of the world lives on $5.50 per day. If you don’t believe you live well, go on a mission trip!

So let me tell you about my house. By American standards, and especially those of south Tulsa, it is pretty average. If you were to drive by, you wouldn’t hit the brakes and say, “What a fabulous house!” Although, in the spring you might ooh and ahh over Jerry Carona’s beautiful yard. The inside is nice, but not posh for sure. Not even fashionable. Southern Living is not calling to do a photo shoot. We just re-did our kitchen, but we need new floors and our master bathroom is outdated. In fact we are not even supposed to refer to it as a “master” bathroom any more. The house is beginning to show her age.

So why is it my dream home? It is not because of the design or the contents. It is not because it is beautifully decorated. I have friends who can work magic in their homes. I tend to put things in one place and leave them. It is not even because of the love or the memories we have created. It has to do with contentment.  

I have been thinking a good deal about contentment because of a talk I have been giving. I will tell you it has taken me a lifetime to get here, but it is a lovely place to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still like nice things, but I have enough.  More than enough! Jesus has taught me that my true dream home is in Him. Contentment and gratitude work together. One breeds the other. It is hard to be aware of and enjoy your blessings while you are wanting more and more, bigger and better. When God leads me into green pastures beside the still waters, I want to enjoy them! I don’t want to miss that peace and contentment by thinking about the next mountain I want to climb, or the next set of china I want to acquire. (Dishes! My kryptonite!)

My remedy for discontent is to keep a gratitude journal. The more blessings I record, the more come to mind. I realize how very blessed I am.

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into thee world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Tim. 6: 6-8  

MORE THANKSGIVING REFLECTIONS

Years ago I published this piece and I am revisiting today as I remember all my blessings.

My family knows this to be true: Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Part of the reason is because it comes in my favorite season, autumn.  For me, it also is the start of a long holiday season.  I like to enjoy Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years for as long as I can.  And I have a tendency to run all those holidays together. I have been playing Christmas music since Halloween, and we will be eating our Thanksgiving turkey by the glow of the Christmas tree. That is why saying “Happy Holidays” is not offensive to me.  Oh I understand and sympathize with the argument Christians have with this phrase.  We want to put Christ back in Christmas.  And I do say “Merry Christmas” frequently.  But for me “Happy Holidays” refers to the entire holiday season that begins with Thanksgiving and ends with New Year’s Day, so I am not put off by those greetings.  In fact, if you want to wish me a happy Monday, I’ll take that too.

The other reason I prefer Thanksgiving is the lack of commercialism, although that is now being tested.  It is not about shopping or giving gifts; it is not about the making or spending of money.  Thanksgiving is about gratitude for what I have instead of thinking about what I want or need.  It makes me mindful of the many blessings God has given me.  It keeps me God-focused rather than me-focused.  It fosters contentment.  

The Pilgrims understood our need for gratitude.  They suffered more adversities than I ever will yet they knew it was important to set aside one day and thank God. They found reasons to be grateful in spite of the many graves they dug. In 1623 Governor William Bradford declared that everyone should assemble together “and render thanksgiving to ye Almighty God for all His blessings.”

Psychologists who have studied gratitude have found that gratitude is directly correlated with life satisfaction, peace, and joy.  Individuals who cultivate and express gratitude have fewer health complaints, reduced stress, and are generally less self-absorbed.  They even sleep better! I frequently challenge my clients to keep a gratitude journal. Doing so fosters wellness, optimism, and generosity.  Dr. Robert Emmons, the world’s leading expert on gratitude states, “The fabric of gratitude is deeply woven into the human experience.”  He has found that there are two parts to gratitude: acknowledging the goodness in life and recognizing the source of that goodness.

I believe God created us with not only the capacity to experience gratitude, but also the need to express it.  He commands us to give thanks because giving thanks is good for us! Our Father knew that his children would reap psychological, physiological and interpersonal benefits by cultivating a grateful heart.  He does not need our praise; it is we who need to praise Him.  I have noticed something in my own life.  Maybe it is not a scientific fact, but it is something I have observed.  The more I praise Him for His blessings, the more blessings I receive.  Maybe that is not actually the case; maybe I am just more aware of the blessings I already have.  Either way, it fills my heart with joy. The knowledge that I have enough is a wonderful thing.  

As I write these words, I am aware of the losses and hardships many of us have experienced this year. You may find it difficult to give thanks in the midst of loss, heartbreak, and adversity, but give thanks anyway. Praise God in the midst of your storm, when your heart is broken, when you are between a rock and a hard place. Praise may not change your situation, but it may change you in the midst of your circumstances.  

I think there is something wonderful that happens with corporate praise, when we thank him together with our families, our church families, and our nation.  It binds us together.  It brings us in touch with the things we have in common and directs our attention away from the things that divide us.  That is why we need a National Day of Thanksgiving.  When we gather together on Thanksgiving Day, let us thank God for our blessings and acknowledge that He is the Source of everything good in our lives, in our families, and in our country.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And all that is within me, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And forget none of His benefits;

Who pardons all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases;

Who redeems your life from the pit,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;

Who satisfies your years with good things,

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.  Psalm 103:1-5 (NASB).    

CLOSE YOUR EYES

In my last post I wrote about the spectacular fall I had at OU during a football game.  It was one of my more attractive moments!  Since then I have been getting some physical therapy for balance, and part of the therapy involves proprioception, that I also mentioned in my last talk.  Briefly, our bodies have specialized nerve endings in our joints and muscles that send messages to the brain about the position and movement of our body parts.  For example, close your eyes and extend your arm out to the side so that it is parallel to the floor.  Now, with eyes still closed, bend your elbow 90 degrees toward the ceiling.  You were able to do that without looking because your proprioceptors were able to tell your brain the position of your arm.  Your brain was then able to move your arm properly without the benefit of sight.  

Part of my balance therapy requires standing on a squishy foam board and performing movements with my feet, head, and arms with my eyes closed.  These movements challenge all of my lazy balance systems at the same time.  This is more difficult than you might think.  Apparently balance is a “use it or lose it” mechanism.  And one of the best ways to strengthen it is to confuse it by making it unstable and then removing eyesight.  I can tell you…I don’t like it!  I want to be on firm ground with my eyes open.   

As I was performing these movements yesterday I was thinking about how much life is like that.  We want to be on firm footing and to be able to see where we are going.  We want to know what is ahead and figure out how we are going to handle it.  When life removes our familiar supports, when things are unsteady and the future is uncertain, we don’t like it.  At least I don’t.  And this is where walking by faith comes into play.

Walking by faith means we trust God’s promises even when we can’t see where we are going.  It means we trust in the goodness and purposes of God even though we may be going through severe and frightening trials.  The Bible encourages us to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).  We keep our eyes fixed on the eternal things that we cannot see now, and not on the temporary things that we can see (2 Cor. 4:18).  We have hope, not hope as a wish, but hope as a secure anchor that we can trust when we are going through stormy seas.

Here is my true confession: I hate trials and I would rather not have to walk by faith.  I want to be able to look ahead and see good things…many more years with my husband, happy lives for my children and grandchildren, a good report in My Chart, a lower number on my bathroom scales and a higher number in my bank account.  But I often say, with all the moving parts in our large family, if everyone is at a good place…don’t breathe.  Because life can change in a moment.  Trials happen, and those trials require faith.  And walking by faith through those trials develops my trust muscles. 

This much I know: God is a good God…all the time.  Even when things don’t look good, I know I can trust my good God.  His purposes toward us are always for good, not only for my good, but also for His bigger plans down the road that I cannot see right now.  And not only is He good, he is a way maker, and a promise keeper. He makes a path for me, and goes before me and behind me.  He is my anchor.  

Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters— a pathway no one knew was there! Psalm 77:19 NLT

THE GOODNESS OF GOD

When I am getting dressed in the morning I enjoy listening to Christian music.  Like morning devotionals, it gets my day going in the right direction.  And it is SO much better than non-stop news.  This morning I was struck by the lyrics to The Goodness of God by Bethel Music and Jenn Johnson.  If you are not familiar with this beautiful song, I invite you to click on the link and listen.  Even though I have heard (and sung) this song many times, it captivated my heart this morning.  The Lord filled me with a sense of His goodness and I wanted to praise Him for who He is, not just for what He does.  I wanted to sing of His goodness.  

God is good.  It is an essential quality of His character.  He is the very essence of goodness.  Exodus 34:6 tells us that God is abundant in goodness.  There is so much packed into that verse about the nature of God and His goodness.  In this passage the Lord is revealing himself to Moses, revealing so much of His glory that Moses, hidden and protected by God’s hand, could only look at the back part of God’s glory.  The verse tells us only a little about God’s goodness; it cannot be completely illustrated by mere words. 

 God is merciful, compassionate, and gracious, forgiving our sins.  He is longsuffering, slow to anger.  How blessed we are that God gives us time to come to Him in repentance instead of giving us the immediate punishment we deserve.  And He is filled with goodness, abundant, overflowing, and abounding.  His goodness is absolute.   God is goodness.  I don’t have adequate words to capture His goodness.  It is a goodness that overflows our deserts, fills our empty places, and calms our fears, a goodness that binds our wounds and a goodness that pours the oil of gladness on our grief.    

His goodness is enough.  It is a goodness that comes from a place of love and compassion.  Mercy.  It is enough for me in this life and the life to come.  But I am a mother.  I have concerns for my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren and those who will come later that I will never know.  God’s goodness is sufficient for all of them.  The next verse goes on to tell us that His goodness and mercy go on to a thousand generations!  

The song tells us that God’s goodness is “running after me.”  How grateful I am, because there are times I run away from God.  He will not let me go; His mercy and goodness pursue me, run after me.  And that same goodness will run after those I love, my future generations.  I often wonder who among my ancestors prayed for me, who set his goodness in motion.  Thank you Lord for running after me!

And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, maintaining loving devotion to a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin. Ex. 34:6-7a