Category: graduation

YOU’RE GOING TO BE OKAY

This May is a month of graduations for us. Two down, and one to go. We have watched our granddaughter Ellie Grace graduate from the beautiful Belmont University with a degree in Motion Pictures. My uncle, Arthur Pierce, a lifelong filmmaker, would be so proud. Next was our Abby who graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma with her nursing degree. Next will be our high school senior, Emma, who will graduate from Owasso High School, and oh by the way, has just made cheerleader at OU! They all have bright futures. As I sat in these commencement ceremonies and watched all these bright-eyed youngsters, so eager to turn their tassels, I wanted to tell them all, “You’re going to be okay.”

When I was doing my internship for my doctorate in psychology, I spent one day a week in the career office at The University of Tulsa. Every week it was the same. Seniors would come in with that deer-in-the-headlight look of “I don’t know what I am going to do, and my parents are going to expect that I get a job, and I don’t even like my major! Maybe I’ll go to law school.” We had a battery of career testing we ran them through, but a large part of my job was just assuring them. “You’re going to be okay.”

They were afraid. Adulting was looming large. I am sure their parents, dreaming of moving them off the payroll, had been trying to have The Talk. I learned with my own grands, don’t ask what they plan to do after college. There could be tears.  Many of these reluctant grads were under the mistaken belief that the job they would get right after graduation would be a life sentence.  I got to tell them that would not be the case for most of them. Big sighs of relief! Gone are the days of forty years and a gold watch. Most people change careers (not jobs) three time during their lives. 

The good news for these college grads is that they have a degree, and no one can take that away from them. I remember thinking that at my own graduation, although I occasionally still have nightmares about getting a notice from TU that a mistake was made, and I need to come back and take more classes. 

To all you grads, I want to say well done! Congratulations to you and your parents. You now have a ticket to live out your dreams. Take a few days off and celebrate. And please, don’t ever stop learning.

Celebrating Life’s Blessings: A Personal Journey

As we come to the end of April and move into May, I am praising God for an abundance of blessings. May is going to be a busy month, with milestone events and celebrations. We have three graduations, three birthdays, Mother’s Day, and we end the month with a 60th wedding anniversary for Jerry and me! My cup runneth over!

My story is a “But God…” story. There is no reason I should be living this life except for the grace of God. I can look back at my chaotic childhood and see the hand of God in it. He was protecting me from danger and placing strategic people in my path. Often I wonder, “Who prayed?” Some of those strategic people were my high school friends who invited me to their church, and I will be eternally grateful. I was pretty allergic to church at that time, but they continued to invite me. At that church I learned that I, like everyone else, was a sinner and deserved punishment. But God. He provided a payment for my sins when He sent His Son to shed His blood as a sacrifice. Jesus paid my debt. My life began to change. It was headed in one direction, but Jesus turned it around. Thank you, Lord!

Jerry and I were nineteen when we married. Smart. I have often said I wish I was as smart now as I thought I was then. But God. He drew us into a Bible teaching church and surrounded us with good friends. We grew in our faith, and I developed a lasting love for the Bible. There were times when marriage wasn’t easy. I often picture marriage as the anvil God placed me on, to chip away everything that didn’t look like Jesus. And there has been plenty of chipping material! Anyone who is a veteran of an enduring marriage will tell you that you are married to several different people over the years. And marriages have seasons. Over time Jerry and I produced three daughters, nine grandchildren (plus two bonus grands), and four greats! It is always someone’s birthday! 

Since I married so young, I had to drop out of college, But God. After my girls finished school, God gave me a desire and a calling. Now it was my turn to go to school and I finished with my doctorate and have been practicing psychology for twenty-one years. 

Ten years ago, Jerry almost died. He was so sick with necrotizing pancreatitis. He had to have what the doctor called “catastrophic surgery.” No one thought he would make it, except our pastor.  Another one of those strategic people! I prayed and prayed and prayed, until I was finally able to say, “Not my will but Thine,” and mean it. I still didn’t have any assurance that Jerry would survive, but I had peace. Since that time, I have been able to turn over so many things to God, and that is a wonderful, peaceful thing. How stupid am I?! I really have very little control anyway! And God promised me years ago that He had a good future for me.

Jerry began to get well and a few months later we realized that we could not remain dogless. We decided to rescue an older female dog and came home with puppies, a male and a female. Our Max and Ruby turned ten yesterday, and we count them as blessings for sure. They make us laugh every day.

Our upcoming anniversary seems like a culmination of all these life events. The cherry on top. How do I say thank you? These words, and even my prayers, seem so inadequate. I hope you know this Jesus of mine. If you don’t, you can. Simply acknowledge your sins and ask for forgiveness. Thank Him for paying your sin debt, and tell Him that from now on, you want to follow Him.  And then hang on! Your life will change.

So this is my story. It would be more accurate to say, this is God’s story. I am just a tiny piece of it. I thought I invited Jesus into my life, but he actually invited me into His.  How is that even possible? But God.

THE BUMPY ROAD

I recently discovered a beautiful magazine, Bella Grace. It is full of lovely images and inspiration for those of us who journal. In the current issue there is an article that inspired me: “33 Reasons Why the Bumpy Road is Always Better.” That title resonated with me because I took the bumpy road in life when I went to college at age 47.  That was some bumpy road! Things had changed a lot!  And the bumps got bigger when I went to graduate school.  There were days moments when I was looking for an on ramp to get back on the freeway. Maybe I should just drop out and go to lunch with my girlfriends! But I kept putting one foot in front of the other, and I got to the end of that particular bumpy road. I was the oldest graduate! So old that one of our local television stations sent out a news crew. “Old woman earns doctorate.”

Robert Frost describes our life choices beautifully in his narrative poem, “The Road Not Taken.” I have always seen myself in that poem. One thing I have learned over the years is that there are many different ways to live a life. Taking the bumpy road requires courage. I think of my granddaughter, Hannah who left behind everything familiar and moved to Colorado on her own because she wanted to live close to the mountains. She is flourishing! I always wanted to live close to the mountains too, but would never have had the courage to make a move like that in my twenties.

Using the article as a journaling prompt, I began a list in a small journal I am keeping.  Here are a few of my reasons; see if you can add some more.

Reasons Why the Bumpy Road is Always Better

  • It helps you find your true north and gets you to the place you were always meant to be.
  • The bumpy road is more interesting than the super highway.
  • Fast is not always better. There are lessons to be learned along the way, and learning takes time.
  • Even detours are a part of the plan.
  • You meet the most interesting people.
  • There are always hidden gifts to discover.
  • Bumpy roads develop trust muscles. I learned to trust God, others and myself.
  • Those bumps caused me to lean in closer to God and deepen my relationship with Him.
  • I learned I could do hard things and achieve my goals, even when they seem impossibly high.
  • Looking back, I can see that I created some of those bumps myself.  Choices have consequences. Once I figured out that God had a plan for me, and then got onboard with it, that bumpy road didn’t seem so impassable.
  • I hope I have carved out some hard-won ruts and left a trail for those coming behind me.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

LETTER TO MY 18-YEAR OLD SELF

It’s May again and graduation ceremonies are happening all across the United States.  Students walk across the stage to receive their diplomas while proud parents snap photos and cheer as if graduating high school were the most amazing feat ever accomplished.  This year we have two graduates.  Jack graduated last Saturday from OU, and Ellie Grace will graduate from high school tomorrow night.  These events have given me a chance to think about what life is going to be like for these seniors.  So with that in mind, I am recycling a blog I wrote a few years ago, with some minor tweaking.  

I graduated from what was at the time the largest high school in Texas.  The Bryan Adams class of 1964 had almost 1000 members.  Now it is a whopping 57 years later!  It hardly seems possible.  With so many graduates, graduation was a long and boring affair.  I don’t remember who gave the commencement address and I certainly don’t remember what was said.  I was probably too busy thinking about the all-night party that was to follow.  I wish I had paid attention because someone probably worked hard to impart some words of wisdom.  Although I thought I knew everything, I could have used some sage advice.

If I could speak now at my own graduation ceremony, what would I say to my 18-year old self?

1. The first thing I would say is “Look around.  Embrace this evening.  This is the last time you will all be together.”  At 18, I did not realize that people would move away and not return.  And I did not know that young people would die.  There was a war at the time.  Young men (and women) would sacrifice their lives in the service of their country.  Even though you all will be going off in different directions, stay in touch with people who matter.  Those friendships are worth keeping.  Sadly, at this point in our lives our classmates are dying.  Death was not even on my radar at 18.

2. Nurture your faith.  I was a baby believer at 18.  I knew I was going to Heaven, but I did not realize the claim that Jesus had on my life.  If I had developed a better relationship with Him I could have saved myself a few wrong turns.

3. Don’t be in such a hurry.  Enjoy your late adolescence and early twenties.  But at the same time, life is short.  This is the time to make careful preparations for the life you want to have.  Make deliberate choices instead of just drifting.  Live life intentionally.

4.  Life is too hard to live alone.  Stay close to your family.  VISIT YOUR GRANDPARENTS.  They will not be here forever.  Choose your spouse carefully.  Invest time in the lives of your children.  Someday they may be choosing your nursing home. 

5. Choose to live a life that makes a difference.  There are many different ways you can do this, and your path will be different from mine.  Leave the world a better place.  Spend some of your time on earth doing things that have a lasting significance.  Consider what you want your legacy to be.

6. Use your money wisely.  Be a generous giver and save for the future.  Don’t let the pursuit of money consume you.  Invest early in a retirement account because the goal line will keep moving.  

7. You are going to have some failures, but they do not define you.  Setbacks and roadblocks can help you find your true north.  

8. Keep learning and growing.  Never lose your curiosity.  The world is a big place.  See more of it.  Read good books.

9. Take a few risks.  You are capable of more than you think.  When you know what you are supposed to do, don’t listen to the naysayers.  

10. And finally, although I would not have understood this in 1964, I would give myself this important advice.  Someday you are going to have something called a hard drive.  Always back it up.

Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, “I have no delight in them.”   Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NASB). 

Little Acorns

I was doing a little work in my flowerbed this morning and pulled up this little Water Oak.  I think people call trees like this “volunteers” because they just sprout up on their own, without being planted.  It is fascinating to see that it is still attached to the acorn.  I was reminded of the saying, “Great oaks from little acorns grow.”  I like this saying, and think about it whenever I am beginning a big task.  But this morning I was thinking about our own little acorns…our grandchildren that are too quickly growing into oaks.

I know I sound really old here, but where did the time go?  It seems like only a short time ago when they were all little, and now the youngest is finishing elementary school this month.  I am especially thinking of the two graduations we will celebrate in the next few days.  

Tomorrow will be Jack Foster Day as he graduates from OU.  Oh how we celebrate this graduation!  The tiny acorn that was once a preschooler has now completed college.  But then overnight he will turn into an acorn again as he begins his working life, and he is stressing a bit about finding a job.  To Jack I want to say, don’t worry about your first job.  Trust me, it will not be your last.  It used to be that people got a job, worked at it for thirty years, got a gold watch, and retired.  But things have changed.  In our current age, people change careers (not just  jobs) three times during their working lifespan.  “Just get a degree,” we told him.  A degree is a ticket.  You will figure it out.  

When I was forty-eight I enrolled in two classes at what was then Tulsa Junior College.  I wanted to get the degree I never got when I was young.  There was a verse from the Bible that was a source of encouragement to me, and I share it today with Jack:

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, Zech. 4:10

My small beginning was a little acorn that grew into a Ph.D.  Jack, just put one foot in front of the other and trust that the Lord will lead you to the place you need to be.  I can already see the might oak you will become.

Our other graduate is Ellie Grace Herrold who graduates from Bishop Kelly next Friday.  We have watched you blossom, Girl!  There are so many wonderful experiences ahead as you enter Belmont University in the fall. You have exciting plans, and I can’t wait to watch them unfold.  I have shared many verses with you in the last days…I want to make sure I tell you everything I am supposed to share with you.  So this one more verse I give you as you spread your wings:

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.  Psalm 20:4            

We cover all our children, grandchildren, and our great-grands in prayer…even our unborn little girl.  We have a lot of moving parts in our family, and some of our acorns get more prayer than others depending on what season they are in.  I am so grateful that I can trust a God who loves them even more than I do.  To all of them, my prayer for you is to stay in God’s Word.  That is the way for an oak tree to grow and flourish.

But they delight in the law of the LORD, meditating on it day and night.  They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.  Psalm 1:2-3