grandparents – bytesfromababyboomer.com

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas. It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles. We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it.

Of course, what goes up must come down. That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I’m glad to get my house back in order, but I miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and make my coffee. And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and the relationships. I was in a reflective mood this Christmas. The grandchildren are all grown now…only one left in high school. They are all busy and don’t have as much time for us as when they were little, but I treasure what time I can get with them. This has been a year of letting go. Letting go of expectations as we have learned to be flexible about family events. Whosoever will may come! And we have had to let go of dear friends who have passed on to heaven. And maybe that is what makes Christmas so special. It is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.” Now I get it. After everyone left on Christmas evening, Jerry and i hugged and said, “We got to have another one.”

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas. After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place. God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long. My greatest gifts are my relationships. My relationship with Jesus is primary. But my family is my treasure. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children and grandchildren. We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family. We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family. We are blessed with enduring friendships, and newer ones as well.

Thank you, Lord for Christmas. Help me to celebrate all year long!

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 (NIV).

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

YOU’RE GOING TO BE OKAY

This May is a month of graduations for us. Two down, and one to go. We have watched our granddaughter Ellie Grace graduate from the beautiful Belmont University with a degree in Motion Pictures. My uncle, Arthur Pierce, a lifelong filmmaker, would be so proud. Next was our Abby who graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma with her nursing degree. Next will be our high school senior, Emma, who will graduate from Owasso High School, and oh by the way, has just made cheerleader at OU! They all have bright futures. As I sat in these commencement ceremonies and watched all these bright-eyed youngsters, so eager to turn their tassels, I wanted to tell them all, “You’re going to be okay.”

When I was doing my internship for my doctorate in psychology, I spent one day a week in the career office at The University of Tulsa. Every week it was the same. Seniors would come in with that deer-in-the-headlight look of “I don’t know what I am going to do, and my parents are going to expect that I get a job, and I don’t even like my major! Maybe I’ll go to law school.” We had a battery of career testing we ran them through, but a large part of my job was just assuring them. “You’re going to be okay.”

They were afraid. Adulting was looming large. I am sure their parents, dreaming of moving them off the payroll, had been trying to have The Talk. I learned with my own grands, don’t ask what they plan to do after college. There could be tears. Many of these reluctant grads were under the mistaken belief that the job they would get right after graduation would be a life sentence. I got to tell them that would not be the case for most of them. Big sighs of relief! Gone are the days of forty years and a gold watch. Most people change careers (not jobs) three time during their lives.

The good news for these college grads is that they have a degree, and no one can take that away from them. I remember thinking that at my own graduation, although I occasionally still have nightmares about getting a notice from TU that a mistake was made, and I need to come back and take more classes.

To all you grads, I want to say well done! Congratulations to you and your parents. You now have a ticket to live out your dreams. Take a few days off and celebrate. And please, don’t ever stop learning.

Celebrating Life’s Blessings: A Personal Journey

As we come to the end of April and move into May, I am praising God for an abundance of blessings. May is going to be a busy month, with milestone events and celebrations. We have three graduations, three birthdays, Mother’s Day, and we end the month with a 60^th wedding anniversary for Jerry and me! My cup runneth over!

My story is a “But God…” story. There is no reason I should be living this life except for the grace of God. I can look back at my chaotic childhood and see the hand of God in it. He was protecting me from danger and placing strategic people in my path. Often I wonder, “Who prayed?” Some of those strategic people were my high school friends who invited me to their church, and I will be eternally grateful. I was pretty allergic to church at that time, but they continued to invite me. At that church I learned that I, like everyone else, was a sinner and deserved punishment. But God. He provided a payment for my sins when He sent His Son to shed His blood as a sacrifice. Jesus paid my debt. My life began to change. It was headed in one direction, but Jesus turned it around. Thank you, Lord!

Jerry and I were nineteen when we married. Smart. I have often said I wish I was as smart now as I thought I was then. But God. He drew us into a Bible teaching church and surrounded us with good friends. We grew in our faith, and I developed a lasting love for the Bible. There were times when marriage wasn’t easy. I often picture marriage as the anvil God placed me on, to chip away everything that didn’t look like Jesus. And there has been plenty of chipping material! Anyone who is a veteran of an enduring marriage will tell you that you are married to several different people over the years. And marriages have seasons. Over time Jerry and I produced three daughters, nine grandchildren (plus two bonus grands), and four greats! It is always someone’s birthday!

Since I married so young, I had to drop out of college, But God. After my girls finished school, God gave me a desire and a calling. Now it was my turn to go to school and I finished with my doctorate and have been practicing psychology for twenty-one years.

Ten years ago, Jerry almost died. He was so sick with necrotizing pancreatitis. He had to have what the doctor called “catastrophic surgery.” No one thought he would make it, except our pastor. Another one of those strategic people! I prayed and prayed and prayed, until I was finally able to say, “Not my will but Thine,” and mean it. I still didn’t have any assurance that Jerry would survive, but I had peace. Since that time, I have been able to turn over so many things to God, and that is a wonderful, peaceful thing. How stupid am I?! I really have very little control anyway! And God promised me years ago that He had a good future for me.

Jerry began to get well and a few months later we realized that we could not remain dogless. We decided to rescue an older female dog and came home with puppies, a male and a female. Our Max and Ruby turned ten yesterday, and we count them as blessings for sure. They make us laugh every day.

Our upcoming anniversary seems like a culmination of all these life events. The cherry on top. How do I say thank you? These words, and even my prayers, seem so inadequate. I hope you know this Jesus of mine. If you don’t, you can. Simply acknowledge your sins and ask for forgiveness. Thank Him for paying your sin debt, and tell Him that from now on, you want to follow Him. And then hang on! Your life will change.

So this is my story. It would be more accurate to say, this is God’s story. I am just a tiny piece of it. I thought I invited Jesus into my life, but he actually invited me into His. How is that even possible? But God.

THE COLLEGE GOODBYE

We have another grandchild who is about to be launched and I have such a mixture of feelings about it. I guess you could say I am “sad-cited.” I am sad to see my active grandparenting years come to an end (although they never really do), but so excited to see him live his next chapter. Mix those feelings with a bit of angst about the dangers that lurk about, and I guess you get the picture. Where did that little boy go? He should still be toddling through our house with his Blues Clues “handy dandy notebook” looking for clues.

He is our 7th grand, so this is not our first dance. I had made him a little “college survival kit” and then Jerry and I took him out for a celebration dinner last night. He is so ready for this next step. But I must tell you, it was hard to see him drive off last night. I was surprised at the emotion I felt. He is only going down the road to Stillwater, for Pete’s sake. (A little play on words…IYKYK). But things will be different.

I was flooded with memories last night of times when our house was filled with grandchildren. Of times when the playroom would be strewn with Fisher price toys, of impromptu talent shows, and giggles during sleepovers. The youngest of our 9 is now 14 and busy, busy, busy! I was trying to remember the last sleepover we had, but it is all a blur. That is the thing about last times. You usually don’t recognize them as such.

I was also remembering our own college drop-offs and thinking about our daughter who has her own mixed feelings about her grownup boy leaving the nest: excitement, pride, worry, and so much love. I keep telling her it will be okay, because it will be. I can remember the gut-wrenching loss I felt when we left our 3 daughters at college, and how ready I was for them to go back to school by the time Christmas break was over.

I have decided that this motherhood thing is one long series of putting the baby in the basket. I must trust that God loves them more than I do, and He has good plans for them. As I was praying for them this morning, my thoughts were on the next school year. We will have 4 on college campuses, 2 in high school and 4 little great-grands who are just beginning this process. Lots of moving parts and lots of potential land mines. And God has it all covered.

All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. Isaiah 54:13

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

Of course, what goes up must come down. That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug. And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family. Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs.

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.” Now I get it.

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long. My greatest gifts are my relationships. My relationship with Jesus is primary. But my family is my treasure. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats! We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family. We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family. We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.