FAMILY – bytesfromababyboomer.com

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas. It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles. We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it.

Of course, what goes up must come down. That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I’m glad to get my house back in order, but I miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and make my coffee. And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and the relationships. I was in a reflective mood this Christmas. The grandchildren are all grown now…only one left in high school. They are all busy and don’t have as much time for us as when they were little, but I treasure what time I can get with them. This has been a year of letting go. Letting go of expectations as we have learned to be flexible about family events. Whosoever will may come! And we have had to let go of dear friends who have passed on to heaven. And maybe that is what makes Christmas so special. It is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.” Now I get it. After everyone left on Christmas evening, Jerry and i hugged and said, “We got to have another one.”

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas. After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place. God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long. My greatest gifts are my relationships. My relationship with Jesus is primary. But my family is my treasure. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children and grandchildren. We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family. We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family. We are blessed with enduring friendships, and newer ones as well.

Thank you, Lord for Christmas. Help me to celebrate all year long!

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 (NIV).

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE

We did it! The Christmas decorations are up for another year! I am sitting with a cup of tea, a fire in the fireplace, enjoying the lights while a Christmas movie on television provides background noise. For so many, many years I have enjoyed decorating for Christmas. But as the years have passed it has become more of a chore. I’m old! I own it. And I have aches and pains. I am so blessed to be married to a man who loves Christmas as much as I do. I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) do it by myself. I remember an elderly aunt who put out a poinsettia and a fruitcake and called it good. The older I get, the more I understand that. But for this year we are still all in.

We had a plan. Remembering our aching backs and hips, we decided to do a little every day and then take a break. We started on Monday and by Saturday morning we were 98% done. Enough to sit and enjoy. Some people wonder why we decorate so early. It’s because it is so much work to get it all out, we want a long time to enjoy it. And Thanksgiving is late this year, so we don’t want to wait until the turkey is gone. You would have laughed if you could have seen us. We kept a big bottle of Aleve handy and began the task of untangling lights and fluffing the many garlands that go up our staircase and across the landing. And by the way, we have a very curious new puppy. “Stop it! Put that down! What’s in your mouth?” Jerry and I have joked that he is going to think his name in No No! We each would work for about half an hour, and then one of us would say, “I’ve got to sit down and take a break. Oh, my aching back!”

About two days in, I was standing on a death-defying ladder, reaching for the top of our tree, and doing some internal grumbling. “Why are we doing all this work,” I thought. Truthfully, I know I mostly do it because I love it, but the kids have all moved. No one lives around the corner anymore. Even our youngest grand is now 15. They are all busy. They will come by a couple of times, but does that warrant decorating for high mass? As I was thinking these things, some Christmas music was playing, and it hit me! The King is coming! And He is worthy of my best efforts. I want my house to be sparkling, the silver polished, and the aroma of delicious food filling the house. That thought changed the way I worked. Oh, it was still physical, and I still got tired, but I enjoyed it! I want to do it to honor Him, and not for myself.

Now that my house is ready, I want to spend time preparing my heart. Isn’t that what Advent is all about? I know the lights and the tree are only externals. What Jesus really wants is a ready heart, and I want that too. The decorations are merely an outward sign that we waiting to receive the King. And bonus, I get to enjoy them too. And now if you will excuse me, I just noticed that a strand of lights has gone out.

How Did I Get Here

I never expected to get old. I don’t know why…I just never pictured myself as old. I know it happens to everyone if they are lucky enough to make it to old age. But I didn’t expect it to happen to me, at least not so quickly. After all, I am a Baby Boomer. We are forever young, aren’t we? And yet, here we are. My high school classmates are slowly falling apart or dying. Even Gidget and Moondoggie are gone. And even though I don’t feel old, the world constantly reminds me in subtle and subtle ways.

It began back in 2020, during the pandemic. The word “elderly” was used frequently. Wait! Are they talking about me?? That hit me with a jolt. Then our sweet neighbors volunteered to go to the grocery store for us because elderly people were told to stay home. That was thoughtful, but we never quit going to the grocery store. Besides, we are not elderly! My great-grandmother was elderly, but I am most certainly not!

However, according to experts, I became elderly some years ago. I hate the word, “elderly” because it sounds so fragile and frail. I’m also not crazy about “old,” “aged,” or “geriatric.” Some people dislike the term, “senior,” but that is one I can tolerate. People try to find nice ways to say old. I notice it, especially in the names of ~~Sunday School~~ small group classes for senior adults. (I just outed myself as old!) I was once in a class called, “Crown Adults.” They might as well call it God’s Waiting Room.

This business of aging has been especially on my mind this month because my husband and I both have birthdays in January. I have already had mine, so for a couple of weeks I am older than he is. And both of us have a really big number looming ahead next year. How in the world did this happen?

Despite everything I have just written, I am actually at peace with my age. It’s interesting how the shift from feeling “forever young” to suddenly seeing the signs of aging can happen so gradually, but still feel like a surprise when it hits. It’s like one day you wake up, and the world is reminding you in ways big and small that time is moving on. I guess I don’t like to be told that I am old. And I’m not crazy about looking old either. But there are some perks that come with being older. I am not opposed to taking advantage of a senior discount. And although it is sometimes annoying, lowered expectations of others can work in my favor. I like being able to sit down and get lost in a book in the middle of the day. Or having my pajamas on before Wheel of Fortune starts. I am not above playing the senior card when it works in my favor. My sister says, “In our declining years we can decline anything we want.” I like that! I am much more content at this point in my life. I don’t have to be on the go or attend every event.

So what is my purpose at this point? I am still here so God must not be finished with me. I still do some counseling and that is fulfilling to me. I can listen and encourage folks. I can pray. And I can tell others about God’s faithfulness, even into my old age.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

Embracing Christmas Spirit Everywhere: A Prayerful Message

If you know me, you know I love Christmas music. So much so that I start playing it at Halloween and don’t get tired of it. My current favorite song is Let It Be Christmas by Alan Jackson. In addition to the hyperlink I am posting the lyrics and invite you to read (or sing!) them. The words are so beautiful!

Let it be Christmas everywhere
In the hearts of all people
Both near and afar
Christmas everywhere
Feel the love of the season where ever you are
On the small country roads
Lined with green mistletoe
Big city streets where a thousand lights glow

Let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let every heart sing
Let every bell ring
The story of hope and joy and peace
And let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let anger and fear and hate disappear
Let there be love that lasts through the year
And let it be Christmas, Christmas everywhere

Let it be Christmas everywhere
With the gold and the silver, the green and the red
Christmas everywhere
In the smiles of all children asleep in their beds
In the eyes of young babies
Their first fallen snow
The elderly’s memories that never grow old
Let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let every heart sing
Let every bell ring
The story of hope and joy and peace
And let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let anger and fear and hate disappear
Let there be love that lasts through the year
And let it be Christmas, Christmas everywhere

Let it be Christmas everywhere
In the songs that we sing
And the gifts that we bring
Christmas everywhere
In what this day means
And what we believe
From the sandy white beaches
Where blue water rolls
Snow covered mountains and valleys below

Let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let every heart sing
Let every bell ring
The story of hope and joy and peace
And let it be Christmas everywhere
Let heavenly music fill the air
Let anger and fear and hate disappear
Let there be love that lasts through the year
And let it be Christmas, Christmas everywhere
Christmas everywhere
Christmas everywhere

This morning, I was singing along with Alan as I was getting dressed, but I sang it as a prayer. I prayed the hope and joy and peace the song speaks of.

Let it be Christmas everywhere. Let it be Christmas in the hospital where my dear friend is having a scary procedure. Be present in all hospitals and strengthen those who care for the sick. Let it be Christmas in the heart of my friend who will leave his home and enter a nursing home today. Bless all who care for the elderly.

Let it be Christmas on college campuses where my grands and many others are taking final exams and finishing the semester. Let it be Christmas on the highways as they travel home to be with loved ones. Protect all who are traveling during this busy holiday season. Let it be Christmas in homes where families are fractured, marriages on a fault line. Oh please restore love and peace and joy.

Let it be Christmas for the working mom who tries to do it all. Let’s face it…it is the moms who make Christmas. Help her to remember what we are really celebrating. Bless the hard-working Dad who is doing his best to provide for his family. Let it be Christmas for schoolteachers. And bless them! Let it be Christmas for the children who think that there is too much time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and for the adults who feel like we lost a week this year!

Let it be Christmas in busy malls and stores where shoppers exhaust themselves and their bank accounts looking for just the right gift. Let it be Christmas for those who deliver packages and holiday mail, and then the bills that follow in January. Let it be Christmas for those who work in restaurants, serving sometimes grouchy customers. Let it be Christmas for the men I saw this morning who were digging a ditch by hand in the cold December drizzle, and for those who pick up my garbage. Lord, help me to be aware of others; help me to see them with your eyes.

Let it be Christmas in a middle east that is on fire. For those around the globe who are in war-torn places or who are oppressed or imprisoned. Let them come to know you as Messiah, our only hope.

Let it be Christmas in ~~our~~ YOUR churches. Let the words of the Gospel ring out and fall on listening ears. Let those of us who have been Believers for many years wonder anew at the story of Your birth. The music, the lights, the parties, the food and the decorations are all nice, but help us keep You at the forefront. Let it be Christmas in our hearts.

GRACE

I am still basking in the glow of Easter Sunday. Our church, like many, offered multiple worship times on this holiest of weekends, but for me, there is something so special about going to worship at 8:30 on Easter Sunday. Calls of, “He is risen!” Answered by, “He is risen indeed!” The atmosphere is one of joy, especially in contrast to the heaviness of Good Friday.

Our choir sang the most beautiful song on Sunday, one that was new to me: Jesus, I Give You Praise. I quickly looked it up on the Internet, and I have been playing it over and over. Even this morning (Monday), I have tears as I sing along. While all the lyrics are beautiful, there is one line that captured my heart. “Your grace, it changed my life.” I have been thinking about those words and meditating on the grace of God. As only He can orchestrate, my Bible study group is studying Ephesians, a book that is saturated in grace. Also, I keep a Bible journal, and my word for this month is “grace.” So I was primed to hear that line.

“Your grace, it changed my life.” So true! My life was going in one direction, and when I was 18, Jesus changed my trajectory. Although at that age I gave little thought to the course of my life, looking back I can see that I was headed down a path of destruction. I do not deserve to be where I am today. Happily (but imperfectly) married, with a big (but imperfect) family. And most importantly, I have the privilege of being in relationship with Jesus. I get to share Him with others, write about Him and speak about Him, things I would never have done on my former course. His grace changed my life!

His grace showed me that I was a sinner, in need of a Savior. Even though I did not deserve it, He paid the price for my sins. That is grace! His grace gave me hope and a new identity: Christian. His grace gave me a hunger for His Word. The old Fran couldn’t even understand the Bible; it might have well have been written in the original Greek. His grace gave me a desire to know Him more deeply. His grace planted me into a fellowship of Believers; my best friends are the ones I can pray with and with whom I can discuss the things of God. It is by his grace that I enjoy the blessings of and endure the trials of this life. His grace secured my final destination. I know that one day I will go into His presence and live there for eternity.

I invite you to find this song and sing along. Lift up your own holy hands and worship Him. His grace truly is amazing!

DREAM HOME

This morning as I was drinking my coffee and trying to come to, a random memory popped up. I don’t know why, unless it was because I was at our granddaughter’s middle school last night. She was being inducted into the National Junior Honor Society (Go Livvy!), but my memory had nothing to do with NJHS. It was a junior high school memory however. I had a flashback to an assignment out homemaking teacher gave us. We were to create a Dream Home notebook.

Armed with scissors, magazines, and glue, I went after that assignment with a good deal of enthusiasm. I don’t remember exactly what my dream home looked like, but I know it was over the top! Downton Abbey pales in comparison. I had some serious delusions of grandeur! But it made me think, what is my dream home today? Immediately I realized, I am living in it.

Over the years my ideas about my dream home changed. I have lived in many different homes in my long life. Some were nice, others not so much. But all have been better than those of most of the world. And larger for sure. I read that about half of the world lives on $5.50 per day. If you don’t believe you live well, go on a mission trip!

So let me tell you about my house. By American standards, and especially those of south Tulsa, it is pretty average. If you were to drive by, you wouldn’t hit the brakes and say, “What a fabulous house!” Although, in the spring you might ooh and ahh over Jerry Carona’s beautiful yard. The inside is nice, but not posh for sure. Not even fashionable. Southern Living is not calling to do a photo shoot. We just re-did our kitchen, but we need new floors and our master bathroom is outdated. In fact we are not even supposed to refer to it as a “master” bathroom any more. The house is beginning to show her age.

So why is it my dream home? It is not because of the design or the contents. It is not because it is beautifully decorated. I have friends who can work magic in their homes. I tend to put things in one place and leave them. It is not even because of the love or the memories we have created. It has to do with contentment.

I have been thinking a good deal about contentment because of a talk I have been giving. I will tell you it has taken me a lifetime to get here, but it is a lovely place to be. Don’t get me wrong, I still like nice things, but I have enough. More than enough! Jesus has taught me that my true dream home is in Him. Contentment and gratitude work together. One breeds the other. It is hard to be aware of and enjoy your blessings while you are wanting more and more, bigger and better. When God leads me into green pastures beside the still waters, I want to enjoy them! I don’t want to miss that peace and contentment by thinking about the next mountain I want to climb, or the next set of china I want to acquire. (Dishes! My kryptonite!)

My remedy for discontent is to keep a gratitude journal. The more blessings I record, the more come to mind. I realize how very blessed I am.

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into thee world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Tim. 6: 6-8

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

Of course, what goes up must come down. That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug. And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family. Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs.

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.” Now I get it.

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long. My greatest gifts are my relationships. My relationship with Jesus is primary. But my family is my treasure. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats! We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family. We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family. We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.