Tag: graduation

Navigating the Bittersweet Journey of Launching Young Adults

There is a drama being played out in our back yard that is also being enacted in homes across the country right now. It is the push and pull of launching a child. You do your best to bring them up to be adults, but there is that bittersweet, and sometimes scary period I call the in between. They look like full-grown adults, but they are not quite there yet. And for parents there is the in between of not needing to remind them to brush their teeth, but wondering if they know everything they need to know. Has she checked her tires? Does he know he needs a job with health insurance? Are they going to church on Sundays.

We have a family of finches who are now fledglings and Mama Bird is trying her best to get them airborne.  They are so tiny! Even Mama Bird is small, but those babies are not much bigger than a good Texas cockroach. The mother sits on the fence and calls her babies all day, and for such a little bird she makes a lot of noise! The babies hop around in the flower bed trying to get aloft, and they sound completely different from the mother. It is almost a small croaking or buzzing sound. 

One got the attention of our Max. Alert to an adventure, he went after the baby bird and I went after him! I kept shouting, “Leave it!” and the frightened little bird would hop, and Max would lurch! The mother bird was upset by the commotion. She was at the in between…wanting the babies to leave the nest, but still aware of all the potential dangers around them. And so wanting to protect them. 

This is where my daughters are with their graduating seniors. The kids are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing right now, spreading their wings. But their parents (and grandparents!) are aware that adulthood isn’t instantly conferred along with a diploma. This is especially true with a high school graduate.

So I am watching my own mother birds as their babies leave the next. They look on with pride, happiness, and a few tears. And we are all so aware of the dangers in our big world. I frequently pray Psalm 91 over my grands:  

Lord, I ask that my family dwell in your secret place and under your shadow. You are our refuge and our fortress and we trust you. Please cover all my “chicks” with your pinions and hide them under your wings. Your faithful promises are our armor and protection. We will not fear the dangers that lurk around us. Thank you for sending your angels to protect us.

YOU’RE GOING TO BE OKAY

This May is a month of graduations for us. Two down, and one to go. We have watched our granddaughter Ellie Grace graduate from the beautiful Belmont University with a degree in Motion Pictures. My uncle, Arthur Pierce, a lifelong filmmaker, would be so proud. Next was our Abby who graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma with her nursing degree. Next will be our high school senior, Emma, who will graduate from Owasso High School, and oh by the way, has just made cheerleader at OU! They all have bright futures. As I sat in these commencement ceremonies and watched all these bright-eyed youngsters, so eager to turn their tassels, I wanted to tell them all, “You’re going to be okay.”

When I was doing my internship for my doctorate in psychology, I spent one day a week in the career office at The University of Tulsa. Every week it was the same. Seniors would come in with that deer-in-the-headlight look of “I don’t know what I am going to do, and my parents are going to expect that I get a job, and I don’t even like my major! Maybe I’ll go to law school.” We had a battery of career testing we ran them through, but a large part of my job was just assuring them. “You’re going to be okay.”

They were afraid. Adulting was looming large. I am sure their parents, dreaming of moving them off the payroll, had been trying to have The Talk. I learned with my own grands, don’t ask what they plan to do after college. There could be tears.  Many of these reluctant grads were under the mistaken belief that the job they would get right after graduation would be a life sentence.  I got to tell them that would not be the case for most of them. Big sighs of relief! Gone are the days of forty years and a gold watch. Most people change careers (not jobs) three time during their lives. 

The good news for these college grads is that they have a degree, and no one can take that away from them. I remember thinking that at my own graduation, although I occasionally still have nightmares about getting a notice from TU that a mistake was made, and I need to come back and take more classes. 

To all you grads, I want to say well done! Congratulations to you and your parents. You now have a ticket to live out your dreams. Take a few days off and celebrate. And please, don’t ever stop learning.