Tag: HOLIDAYS

A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE

We did it! The Christmas decorations are up for another year! I am sitting with a cup of tea, a fire in the fireplace, enjoying the lights while a Christmas movie on television provides background noise. For so many, many years I have enjoyed decorating for Christmas. But as the years have passed it has become more of a chore. I’m old! I own it. And I have aches and pains. I am so blessed to be married to a man who loves Christmas as much as I do. I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) do it by myself. I remember an elderly aunt who put out a poinsettia and a fruitcake and called it good. The older I get, the more I understand that. But for this year we are still all in.

We had a plan. Remembering our aching backs and hips, we decided to do a little every day and then take a break. We started on Monday and by Saturday morning we were 98% done. Enough to sit and enjoy. Some people wonder why we decorate so early. It’s because it is so much work to get it all out, we want a long time to enjoy it. And Thanksgiving is late this year, so we don’t want to wait until the turkey is gone. You would have laughed if you could have seen us. We kept a big bottle of Aleve handy and began the task of untangling lights and fluffing the many garlands that go up our staircase and across the landing. And by the way, we have a very curious new puppy. “Stop it! Put that down! What’s in your mouth?”  Jerry and I have joked that he is going to think his name in No No!  We each would work for about half an hour, and then one of us would say, “I’ve got to sit down and take a break. Oh, my aching back!” 

About two days in, I was standing on a death-defying ladder, reaching for the top of our tree, and doing some internal grumbling. “Why are we doing all this work,” I thought. Truthfully, I know I mostly do it because I love it, but the kids have all moved. No one lives around the corner anymore. Even our youngest grand is now 15. They are all busy. They will come by a couple of times, but does that warrant decorating for high mass? As I was thinking these things, some Christmas music was playing, and it hit me! The King is coming! And He is worthy of my best efforts. I want my house to be sparkling, the silver polished, and the aroma of delicious food filling the house. That thought changed the way I worked. Oh, it was still physical, and I still got tired, but I enjoyed it! I want to do it to honor Him, and not for myself. 

Now that my house is ready, I want to spend time preparing my heart. Isn’t that what Advent is all about? I know the lights and the tree are only externals. What Jesus really wants is a ready heart, and I want that too. The decorations are merely an outward sign that we waiting to receive the King. And bonus, I get to enjoy them too. And now if you will excuse me, I just noticed that a strand of lights has gone out. 

PUTTING AWAY CHRISTMAS

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

The older I get, the more difficult it becomes to decorate the house for Christmas.  It requires boxes of decorations being brought down from the attic, rearranging my furniture; ladders, and boxes and boxes of ornaments, greenery, and other assorted decorations to be put out; and at least two days of physical work that leave Jerry and I with backaches and stiff muscles.   We like to put everything up early so we have a long time to enjoy our tree and everything that goes with it. 

Of course, what goes up must come down.  That requires two more days of hard work and many trips up and down the stairs. After all the garlands and lights and ornaments are put away, I feel a mixture of emotions. I know I will be glad to get my house back in order, but I will miss the lights of the Christmas tree in the mornings when I get up and drink my coffee from a favorite Christmas mug.  And I miss the anticipation of Christmas.    

I love everything about Christmas: the lights, the music, the smells, the foods, and most of all, the relationships. I love carving out special times for special people…friends and family.  Our family keeps growing and changing, and with that needs change. We are going to need to alter our Christmas traditions next year. We now have married grandchildren, so in addition to the families of our sons-in-law, we have to schedule around another layer of in-laws who also want time. We have college grandchildren who return home at various times and a working granddaughter who lives out of state and can only be home for a few days. Even our grands that live here have work schedules and constant activities we must work around. Twenty-four people with twenty-four different needs. 

As I put away Christmas this year, I have no idea what it will look like next year. For this mother hen who loves all her chicks close to the nest, it is hard to be flexible, but that is what I must be. As for Jerry and I, we are acutely aware that this is another bonus Christmas after his close brush with death a few years ago. We now have more widowed friends, and the number grows every year. Maybe it is the knowledge that time is running out that makes me treasure each Christmas. I used to tease my grandmother for saying, “I wonder how many more Christmases we will have to all be together.”  Now I get it. 

I guess relationships are the most important part of Christmas.  After all, relationship is the reason we have Christmas in the first place.  God desired a relationship with man, so he came to earth to dwell among us and provide a way for us to be in relationship with Him.  

As I pack away Christmas, I want to keep part of it all year long.  My greatest gifts are my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus is primary.  But my family is my treasure.  I’m so blessed to have my husband and our children, grandchildren, and now four little greats!  We are so blessed to be a part of a large and loving family.  We are a part of a vibrant and loving church family.  We are blessed with many friends and acquaintances we enjoy.  

Thank you, Lord for Christmas.  Help me to celebrate all year long! 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12 (NIV).  

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered–how fleeting my life is.  Psalm 39:4 (NLT).

EMBRACING MY SEASON

I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic as we approach Christmas. Maybe wistful is a better word…combined with nostalgia. For some time I have been wanting to slow the calendar down. Time is racing past! And I feel it acutely at Christmas.

Several years ago I collected all our photos from past Christmases and scanned them into my computer. I made a slide show and surprised my family with it on Christmas morning. I wasn’t sure how it would go over with a tree full of presents waiting to be unwrapped. But everyone loved it, the adults as well as the children. They wanted to sit through the whole thing before unwrapping gifts. Maybe some things are better than bought presents. I’ve continued to add to the slideshow every year and I will have it playing again Christmas morning. But this year I also did something different. I am playing it continually on my Echo Show that sits on my kitchen counter. So every time I walk into the kitchen I am treated to a blast from the past. And that is what is triggering my nostalgia.

Where did the years go? I thought my children grew up fast, but my grandchildren’s childhood years have flown by at warp speed. Our youngest is nine this year and is the only remaining believer in the magic of Santa Claus. We have two who are grown and married, one with a baby of her own. Our two college kids will be joined by a third, leaving a high school senior, two in middle school, and one left in elementary school. Once they get to a certain age they don’t have as much time for us, especially when they get those driver’s licenses. It is not such a treat to come to JuJu and Paki’s house, and that is how it should be. They have lives of their own. But it makes me miss the days when there were lots of little feet in the house.

EPSON MFP image

EPSON MFP image

I would love to go back and visit a Christmas past. Maybe a Christmas Eve with my own dear grandparents. I miss them every day. A Christmas with all my siblings.  Or a Christmas at our old house, the one our kids grew up in. I can practically hear those little feet running down the stairs shouting with joy over a doll or a bicycle. We have been in our current house for almost 20 years, so we have many wonderful Christmas memories here too. Little grand babies that have grown into big people.

EPSON MFP image

I’m wondering what future Christmases will look like. Will they continue to be as much fun as the grands continue to grow older? Will we be blessed enough to have more together? Will we still be relevant in their lives I’m coaching myself to embrace the season I’m in. To be mindful of my many blessings. I’m reminded of the story of the Exodus in the Old Testament when God delivered the children of Israel from a life of slavery. What did they do? They complained and looked back on the “leeks and garlic of Egypt.” If I focus too much on Christmas Past or Christmas Future I might miss the joy of Christmas Present.

So I thank God that Jerry and I get another Christmas together. We almost didn’t. Not all of my friends are so blessed. We know that these are bonus days for us, and tell each other every day. I have friends who are dealing with loss this year. Soul crushing loss. If you are going through a season of loss this year, please know that Jesus sees you and longs to be your comfort. And if you are looking for someone to listen to your pain, I’m pretty good at that.

Jerry and I still have our health, although we are not moving around as well as we used to. I know we are so lucky to have all our children and grandchildren living right here in Tulsa, some just around the corner. I’m blessed that we get to host Christmas Day. With so many moving parts we might not always get everyone together.

I don’t know the future holds but I trust the One who holds it. So I will enjoy Christmas 2019 and be grateful for our blessings. Most of all we are grateful that all our children and grandchildren know the Lord and we will all spend eternity together in His presence.

THE EMPTY CHAIR

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The following is a letter my friend Cathy wrote to some of her friends who have recently lost their mothers.  She gave me permission to share it.  I know too many of my friends are facing an empty chair this Thanksgiving.  You have lost parents and grandparents, spouses, and even children.  Please know I am thinking and praying for you all, even as I type these words.  You are not alone.

THE EMPTY CHAIR

The holidays are coming . . . and I dread the “empty chair”.

You are receiving this letter because you are my friend and we share a common bond. We are each one of six who have experienced the passing of our mother and walked with her through death this past year.

For all of us this has not been a sudden event, rather a long and plodding journey we have travelled with our mothers inch by inch. This journey has brought emotions and questions as each of our mother’s health and function declined and we could see the end coming. In moments of angst and suffering we would wonder when the end would come and yet . . . we embraced her at every turn not wanting to let go. And then . . . we knew the end was near.

As my mother came closer and closer to death in her final weeks, I felt more and more the presence of God. I prayed for His grace and mercy for her soul and mine. Death is a most sacred time . . . a time no one can completely understand, but you know God is near and your loved one is transitioning into the life after death. For all of us this is part of the human experience, we know it is coming, but it takes on a much deeper meaning when you sit by the bedside of the mother you love. You know God is there as you witness the spiritual mystery when her soul leaves her body like a whisper in the quiet of the night. She is gone.

Now after several weeks, I still reflect often on my mother’s life and her passing. And now . . . the holidays are coming and I face the “empty chair”.

As the holidays approach I hope to embrace the gift of the “empty chair”. I know from the life my mother lived that I am worthy of receiving and giving love, joy, and generosity. I know my mother faced challenges, difficult decisions, and made mistakes in her life and yet she endured. She never gave up, but kept on keeping on. This remembrance inspires me to do the same . . . forgive others and yes also myself, when I am weak to remember I can be strong, and know I can be kinder and gentler, more compassionate and empathetic to others.

The empty chair also reminds me of the depth of love within my family and the reason to keep that love alive and make it even richer. I am also reminded of the love of friends and how that love blesses my life and how I want to be that kind of friend to bless others. And . . . walking with my mother and witnessing her death reminds me to turn to a more consistent life of prayer and dependence on God embracing His love and mercy.

All of our mothers lived long lives and they endured and pressed on. And now . . we have the “empty chair”. We have been left with many gifts from the “empty chair” and It is our time to press on, to reflect and examine our own lives and genuinely embrace the joy and pain of life, allowing it to mold us into a better person, one filled with love and hope, kindness and understanding.

As you and your family gather, I pray you, my friend, have holidays filled with an abundance of love and joy and remember the gift of the “empty chair”. Yes there will be tears, but through these tears we have received many gifts.

Keep on “keeping on” my friends . . . and know I will be thinking of you and your family during this holiday season. I am sending abundant wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas season with prayers for comfort and peace.

Lovingly,

Cathy